TaoAndThen
Very Important Update PLEASE READ
OK so as you all know I hate Eclipse, so I've made a tough decision- I will not be posting any new content to dA. Any stories that I've already started I will continue to update here but from now on all my new work will be exclusively on AO3 (same username).
And for the record this isn't me saying I'm done with my other stories, like TTK. Yes I know it's been a few months since I've updated but I've been working on that story for seven years now and like any long term relationship you go through phases, the honeymoon period can't last forever. I'm not abandoning it, but I don't want to force myself to write something when my heart isn't fully in it. Yes I know best writer advice is to force yourself to just write something and that'll get the creative juices flowing...but I don't think that advice was made with neurodivergent people in mind 'cause that's literal torture for someone with ADHD. If I do that I'll grow to resent the story and the writing process in general. I do have Annie's chapter done but I'm really not happy with it and want to take some time away from it, then return to revise and edit before posting. Probably gonna consult my oracle decks again for inspiration. I've got like thirteen now so that shouldn't be too hard lol.
I'm getting ideas for a BnHA/MHA fanfic that I'll be starting soon so I'll at the very least continue cranking out content.
Oh and quick life update my health problems haven't worsened per se but more diagnoses, meds, treatments, and procedures have been added to the list starting in January (so literally all of 2021 has been 'try this, we think you have that, you'll need to undergo this, let's test you for that'). And that takes a toll on a person, not to mention is time consuming. Plus I still have that job that's got me in front of a computer 24/7 writing stuff so I need to reconcile my love of writing for funsies with having to write for work. That's also really hard.
Okee dokee well that's all I've got. And for the record I have no intention of deleting this account even after I stop updating and stories get completed because unlike AO3 it doubles as a social media platform. I wanna stay in touch with people, and it's a great place to find ideas for challenges, writing prompts, etc.
Peace out homies!
TaT
Update
I've gotten to work on writing again. Having a long weekend helped a lot. I'm on my computer all day for work so once I finish I want nothing to do with it. But I've had some space and now I'm getting back to it.
I'm slowly making peace with Eclipse. Barely, and slowly.
Anyway I'm tackling TTK. Reiner's chapter is next according to the poll I did back in April but I've also stumbled on some great material for Jean, which also means material for Marco. So far all I really for him was behind-the-scenes interactions with squad members. Remember there are 16 in total and so far I've completed five.
I've also been making lists of songs to accompany each chapter. I'm not planning on making actual playlists, I don't wanna create a new Spotify account for that. I can link the individual tracks to YouTube or Spotify to make it easier though. Anyway if you wanna reread the intermission chapters with their accompanying songs, I'll post the list once I've completed and edited it the list and each chapter too (the songs might give some spoilers!). I'm limiting it to five songs for each character, so that's 80 songs total. Oof.
Happy new year! Hope you're all staying safe.
Update
I haven't uploaded in months, I realize that. Aside from COVID-19 and other health stuff (new problems, because of course) I got a new job! And it's working from home. On my laptop. So I haven't been spending much time using it for things other than work; it's like an office thing to me now, hard to mentally separate it. So whenever I got on dA it was on my phone, but we all know how great Eclipse mobile is...
Anyway. I have every intention of writing again. Honestly I need it. Being in quarantine is taking a huge toll on my mental health. I've come to learn that, on top of everything else, I have OCD. Fortunately a close family member does too so I have someone I can talk to about it who doesn't just think it's all cleaning and freaking about germs. Which it isn't. So knock that shit off.
Another issue with WFH is I set my own hours, so sometimes I don't get work started until very late in the day and finish around 11. And because I don't have nearly as much a hard time focusing as I did at my last job I haven't been taking my ADHD meds regularly. I haven't needed them. That, unfortunately, turned into me just straight up not taking them because it's no longer part of my morning routine so...that's another thing I gotta work on.
It's a huge shift, bigger than I thought it would be. Luckily I've got my husband (yeah, I'm married now!) to help keep me focused and on track, and supporting me with these health issues (and all the old ones lol). But I need to do more things for myself. And writing has been my go to since I was 11. It's always been there for me. Even now at 29.
I don't know exactly what I'm gonna start with. I need to ease back in, more than ever before. I have a Fallout 4 idea I'm toying with and I think I might start with that one, just for practice. Depending on far I go with it and how well received it is I might put it here, but all my 'test runs' happen on AO3.
OK so that's everything I think...I hope y'all are doing okay. Okay as you can be.
-TaoAndThen
Yuck
It took a few months but I've finally been subjected to the new site layout. And, like the rest of you, I fucking hate it.
In other news, so much has happened lately with my health, job, etc. Like many others I'm currently in quarantine due to my asthma. Don't worry, I'm fine. Anyway I have so much time on my hands now and I was telling my better half how I should use that time to get back into writing. As I was telling him that I got bit by the writer's bug. And now for the first time in months I'm sitting in front of my laptop feeling inspired, focused, and motivated. This is one of those occasions where ADHD is actually useful, since I don't have to worry about bedtime I'll be in the fucking zone until I can't keep my eyes open.
I'm excited.
Thank you everyone for your patience. I know these are scary times for a lot of you, and I hope you're able to stay safe.
Devious Journal Entry
So work has been very stressful to the point of volatile these past few months. I had a huge mental breakdown in September, my meds needed to be locked up for like a month. My neurological problems came out of remission in early July and worsened in August, plus my asthma has been acting up. New meds for those, two of which were huge failures. Another new med recently, a psych med, and so far so good but it scares the fuck outta me because of the reputation it's got. To say nothing of the financial struggles. Life has not been good these past few months. I haven't been able to write. I barely think about it, I'm so exhausted all the time. When I do have free time I usually just lay in bed watching Netflix or play video games; fairly simple and mindless compared to writing.
But I recently decided to push myself and see if I can get back into it. It's not that I don't want to, I've just become so numb and desensitized to a lot of things that made me happy or things that I enjoyed doing (i.e. things requiring effort even if the payoff was worth it). I can't promise a chapter anytime soon, though I may add to one of my side projects on AO3. Follow me on there if you aren't already. I personally like it more than dA but I wish it had a PM system; it's not meant to be social media like dA though so I understand why they don't.
Anyway that's my update. I'm doing a little better all things considered, but it's just been one shock or let down or scare after another. Writing helped me when I was a kid in an abusive home, it can help me now. So I wanna get back into the habit. Please be patient with me.
Thanks for understanding. Hope everyone is doing well
(I also know I'm literally years behind on a few things I promise for other people. I do plan on getting them done, I promise, I just forget. Not joking. I have memory problems. I often skip meals when I'm home alone because I honestly forget that I need to eat, and then end up feeling sick and shitty because of it. If I can't remember basic things like that on the regular, there's no way I can keep track of requests and get them done in a timely manner. Please bear with me and again I'm really sorry)
1/5/20 Update
On top of all the other stuff (some of which has greatly improved, some still stagnant) I now have some kind of gastrointestinal issue as well. I see a neurologist tomorrow to discuss preventative treatments, but we've moved past medication and are looking at procedures now. Neurological, psychiatric, respiratory, and now gastrointestinal. I seriously feel like my body is trying to destroy itself.
I have started writing a little again though. It's just a for funsies project, probably not that good but I seriously don't care at this point. It's a Dragon Age fanfic and it's seriously just recycling old ideas I had with new OC ideas and of course my AU obsession. But it's over on AO3 so go there if you wanna read it (or just look up Dragon Age: Quarantine, the very non-threatening and slightly pretentious title).