Twisting the Knife Chp 45: Puzzle Pieces

Wall Maria, Survey Corps Supply Station, August 10th, 4:32 AM

Saskia jolted upright, breathing heavily as her foggy vision slowly unscrambled itself.  Kseniya, who was sleeping near her, slowly leaned up on her elbows and yawned.

“Another nightmare?” she asked quietly, trying not to wake Annie.

The General nodded slowly, pulse beginning to slow down.  “Yes...I’m alright, I just need to catch my breath.”

“Maybe you need some air?  It’s gotta be close to sunrise, and we’ve got a lot of distance between here and Shiganshina.  I’ll pack up our supplies.”  Kseniya rolled over and stretched out her arms and legs.  “You go get the horses ready, give the area a once over, and most importantly clear your head.”

Saskia said nothing, only nodding as she rose from the cold stone floor of the supply station they had taken refuge in for the night.  They were a good distance away from Wall Rose but Shiganshina’s inner gate was still beyond the horizon.  She fixed up her appearance as best she could before heading outside.  Vermilion was bleeding over the treetops, chasing away the indigo.  The horses looked restless but otherwise undisturbed.

Much to their collective relief the CMP soldier had lied to Kseniya about eating Iolana.  The creature was found locked in a tool shed near the training grounds, starving and frightened.  Saskia walked up to her equine companion, stroking her mane.

“An ordinary nightmare I can handle,” she murmured softly.  She could hear Titans beginning to stir from their nightly stasis.  “But these horrific visions of Erwin soaked in his blood, emaciated, wasting away in prison?”  She shielded her eyes and surveyed their surroundings, carefully taking count of the footfalls and approximating their distance.  “All the ‘what ifs?’ are going to deprive me of what little sanity I have left.”  The horse whinnied softly and she cracked a weak smile.  “Yes, one thing at a time.”

Inside Kseniya was gathering the few supplies they took, mostly gas for their gear and some dehydrated rations.  Annie was quiet, just as she had been for most of the trip.  The night prior she was somewhat talkative, cheerful almost when Saskia asked about her fighting style.  Kseniya couldn’t help but crack a smile when the blonde’s eyes lit up and she launched into an elaborate explanation of her techniques.

“You’re not too worn out from shifting are you?”  Kseniya peered over her shoulder as Annie slipped on the white hoodie and Survey Corps jacket. 

“Not terribly.  Why?”  She pulled her hair up and pinned it in place.  “Afraid I’ll no longer be of use?”

“Afraid you’ll get killed.  Check your tank and make sure you’ve got enough gas.  And don’t forget to eat before we leave.”

“Yes mother,” she grumbled as Saskia returned.

“What’s the status on Titan activity?”  Kseniya gave her a worried, curious glance.

“I didn’t see any but I certainly heard them.  They’re up and around.  Annie, how do you feel?  I know yesterday was exhausting...It’s been quite some time since you’ve shifted.”

Annie shrugged as she rummaged through the less-than-appetizing bags of dehydrated rations.  “I’m fine.  I’m more concerned about shifting when we’re outside the walls.  The movements of Titans can be predicted here.  They’re concentrated in an enclosed space.  Not to mention, when we’re closer to old settlements, we can hear buildings being crushed or knocked over.  Once out there we won’t have that luxury.”

“I am aware, and I am just as concerned.  We will continue on as we have until we reach Shiganshina.  Sadly the inner gate is irreparable.  And while we do have a very large hole to ride through, our exit is also the Titans’ entry.  That said, I don’t think we should attempt going through the inner gate and leaving Shiganshina until after dark.”

Kseniya sucked in her breath through puckered lips, brow knit.  “I dunno.  Sure, dark offers protection, but just as much for them as us now that we know some can still be active at night.  Even if you can hear ‘em, we might be too close to get away.  Especially while at the gate and the break in the outer wall.  I think timing doesn’t matter.  We’ll see when we get there.”

The three mounted their steeds and bolted south.  They had covered a generous amount of ground yesterday before Annie started to feel overwhelmed from shifting, something they had hoped to avoid resorting to.  Saskia had directed them to the nearest supply station which, unlike the outposts, was meant to sustain a company for extended periods of time.  They were sturdier and had many lower levels, deep enough in the ground that Titans could no longer smell prey nearby.  Each had a watchtower and those far beyond the walls, before the Survey Corps became a full-fledged military branch, were still equipped with archaic siege weapons.  A small part of Kseniya hoped they stumbled across one to see how they operated.  Though a medic at heart she could never divorce herself from her training as an engineer.

For hours they rode evading Titans both solitary and in hordes, a perk that came with being in a small group.  Come noon they had engaged three times.  Six hours and five aggressive battles later (three of which required Annie to shift) they reached another Survey Corps supply station.  This one was within walking distance of the Shiganshina inner gate.  Saskia wanted to push on and take advantage of the setting sun but Annie was too tired from shifting, and the nearest outpost and supply station were too deep in the abandoned district.

“Hey Saskia?” Kseniya began as she examined her blades for damage.

“Yes?”

“How are you holding up?”  The brunette paused.  “I mean about Erwin.”

“What about him?”  The General’s tone had fallen flat, breathing a winter’s chill into the room.

“I just wanna know if, well, maybe you’d like to talk about it?  I mean, you haven’t said much about him...and it can’t be easy, coping with being left behind.”  Twenty-some years of trust and devotion.  That’s gonna sting.

“You’re right.”  She turned to her.  “I do feel abandoned, though I know it to be irrational-”

“Not really.”

“I’m still coming to terms with it.  It’s only been a month since it unfolded.  I rarely if ever made mention of it to Levi.  I could not afford to let those feelings best me.  I had to focus.”   If they harmed him in even the slightest I...I haven’t the faintest idea what I’ll do.  Perhaps lose control of myself again?  When we save him, I want to be me, not...whatever that thing is.  “I don’t wish to discuss it further.”

“Yeah, alright.  Sorry.”

“It’s fine.  You had good intentions.  Annie?”

“What?”  The blonde was sitting cross-legged on the floor, picking at the unsavory dried food.

“Why did you agree to join us?  The look in your eyes told me that you had some sort of business of your own to attend to.”

“To go home.”  Her eyes falling to the floor.  “I’m not out for revenge, not on the cowards pulling the strings from the safety of the capitol.  My father on the other hand...If he’s still alive, I’m going to kill him.  If he’s dead I want to see the rotting corpse for myself.  I want to see what’s become of that pathetic old man.”  She shifted her position slightly, straightening her back and glanced over at the ravenette.  “How is Armin?”

“Armin?  Last I saw, quite well.  Still the sharpest mind the Survey Corps has to offer.”

She pushed a few loose strands behind her ear.  “If there was ever a moment I seriously considered defecting, it was during the inspection to find who killed your test subjects.  We were talking about which branches we would be joining.  I was surprised to hear Armin say he was joining you.  I told him that he wasn’t very strong, but he had guts.  And he said ‘You really are a nice person, aren’t you?’.  It wasn’t out of surprise.  It sounded like relief.  If someone as smart as Armin saw that and felt the need to say it, it had to be true, right?  That's what I found myself wondering.”

"What if they fight back?  We never discussed a plan for if they refuse.”

“Because they will not,” the General replied simply.  “I will return with them.  I would not have taken so great a risk if I weren’t confident in my ability to see it through.”

“You keep saying that, but that’s not what ‘risk’ means.  That’s the opposite of a risk.”

“When I say I only take a risk if I am confident in my ability to ensure what must be done is done, I mean that I am confident in my ability to risk everything to meet said goal.  A goal which in and of itself is a risk.  Like the time I saved Hanji’s life.  I cared little to nothing about my own well-being save for whatever might have hindered my ability to keep her from being eaten.  All I cared about was making sure she wasn’t.”  Her shoulders dropped.  “I believe my reason for defining it as such is Erwin.  He would always talk about making gambles but that was very hard for me to believe, as he is so logical and composed.”

Annie dropped her chin in her palm, an eyebrow raised.  “I thought he was a painful distraction.”

Saskia nodded.  “You’re right.  I need to focus on the immediate.  Not exactly my specialty…”

“I know something that might cheer you up.  I can tell you about your mom.”

“No longer can I neglect my curiosity.”  Her expression softened.  “I would love to hear about Luzia.”

“My interactions with her were hostile and aggressive, sadly.  But that only meant that I got to see the most badass side of her!  There was one time I went with Kenny to go see her on your birthday.  He ‘wanted to celebrate’.”  Kseniya rolled her eyes.  “Anyway, Kenny got wasted.  Brought the liquor and ended up drinking it all himself.”

“Shock,” Annie muttered.

“He’s going on about how she’ll never see you and then said she was never fit to be a mother to begin with.  That turned into Saxons dying out because they were shitty parents.  Her face was the darkest red I’ve seen in my whole life.  Then he said you were lucky to be half-Saxon.  If you were half-Oriental, half-something not warrior blooded, and born a girl then you would’ve been killed or ‘Better yet, help rake in a fortune from old men like me who have an ‘appreciation’ for exotic beauties’.  Luzia isn’t having it.  She grabs him by the collar and snarls in his face, ‘If you so much as look at my daughter with lust in your eyes I will deep fry your lonely cock and feed it to you’.  Then, still holding him by the collar, she opens the door and -I kid you not- lifts him and throws him out onto the street.  She was built.  Oh, then there was the time…”

Kseniya spent over two hours recalling her favorite encounters with Luzia, all of which had Saskia rolling on the floor with laughter or tearing up with pride.  When she ran out of stories she urged Saskia to tell a few from her younger years, an idea Annie supported with as much enthusiasm as she allowed herself to show.

“From my youth?”  She tapped her chin.  “The best stories of my younger years involve Squad Leader Colleen Berliner.  She was torn into pieces before my eyes when I was thirteen.  It was the first death I witnessed which deeply impacted me on a personal level.  She’s the one who taught me to smile.  I learned so much from her.  Even how to play The Wings of Freedom !  She played it for me once and promised to find the sheet music so I could learn.  After she gave it to me I taught myself.  When I mastered it I she was so proud.  Some evenings when I finished my chores early, she would steal me away and listen to me play over and over again.  She really loved that song.”

Annie leaned back, resting her palms on the cold floor.  “What’s the Wings of Freedom?  I thought that was just the Survey Corps’ emblem, not a song.”

“It is, but it wasn’t always.  Our original insignia is what the Trainee Corps uses, the crossed blades.  And that song is the Survey Corps’ anthem.  It was penned, both music and lyrics, by Katya Volkova and in turn inspired our current emblem.”  Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Kseniya stifling a gasp, her pupils dilating, but continued on.  “Remember, we didn’t always have 3DMG.”

After a few more hours of idle chatting Saskia insisted they attempt rest, especially Annie who was struggling to keep her eyes open.  Once the blonde was asleep Saskia and Kseniya crept up to the watchtower where they could speak in private.

“Crossed blades.  You’re sure it was crossed blades?”

“Of course I’m sure.  Why?  Why did you give me that look?”

“‘We grip two steel blades, Gloria’.”  The brunette started pacing, snapping her fingers when a question struck her.  “How did it end up being the Trainee Corps emblem?”

“Before the Trainee Corps all three branches conscripted.  That led to the socioeconomic divides we have today.  The first line of defense had to surround the outermost cities, so the Scouting Legion came from and occupied what would become Maria.  Fields devoted to livestock and agriculture, they needed to be kept separate so they could prosper without interference from the other.  What would become the Garrison was the second line of defense.  Their emblem comes from Wall Rose, and the wall’s name from its agrarian origins.  The richest congregated far from the ‘peasants’.  Their literal social circle became Sina.  It was only logical that those closest to the royal family be the ones to protect it, so the Military Police was bred in that cesspool of-”

“Saskia, this is really fascinating, but I need you to focus.  Can you gimme some Trainee Corps history?”

“The Trainee Corps began as loosely organized chapters in the major districts and was absorbed into the military as we know it when space could be designated.”

“And after the Survey Corps took on the new emblem, the Trainee Corps adopted their old one.  Crossed blades.”

“Correct.”

“These assholes have infiltrated the Survey Corps and the Trainee Corps using the same guy.  With the connections the branches seem to have, I’d bet that means the ones holding humanity hostage know more than we hoped they would.  Shit, they might even know Gloria Jaeger’s maiden name.  We won’t be able to look into her history without that.”

“How do you mean?”

“Last night I started thinking about Gloria’s birth family.  Did they extend any help in protecting Katya’s findings?  For all we know, we might be barking up the wrong family tree.  Katya doesn’t matter.  Her research does.  Gloria matters.  Katya made that pretty clear in the song.  Today we’d probably call her Lance Corporal.  If we can get her maiden name maybe we’ll stumble across something by seeing what’s up her descendants are up to.  They might have Katya’s research and the marriage was just a cover to throw people off track.”  Kseniya folded her arms over her chest.  “Who knows how many doors that key might open?”

Wall Maria, August 11th, 5:58 AM

“You really expect us to believe you don’t know anything about the Beast Titan?&rdquo

“You needed it to go home, but your home is destroyed.  You don’t gain anything.”

“Fine.  But how do you benefit by keeping it to yourself?”

“It annoys you, and that amuses me.  Dunno how many times I have to say it but I don’t know much more than you.  Berating me for answers won’t jog my memory.&rdquo

“Maybe a good blow to the head will.”

“That’s how you get rid of memories, moron.”

“Ymir, Reiner?  You need to come see this.”  Bertholdt motioned the other two closer towards him and pointed at the ground below.  After finding their villages in ruins they burned them to the ground to keep the disease from spreading, using their Titans to contain the flames.  They had taken refuge atop the inner part of Maria, near Shiganshina’s inner gate.  “Do you see that Titan?  It seems like it’s looking for something.”

“Probably us,” Ymir snorted.  It suddenly broke into a mad dash; deeper into Maria, the general direction it was headed, white wisps were climbing to the clouds.  “Or not.  Don’t tell me it’s the Survey Corps again.  Don’t they have that ‘Living Weapon’ nonsense to worry about?”

“They do,” Reiner affirmed.  “But someone is over there killing Titans.”  More and more began running through the broken gate towards the mysterious billows of steam.  “And there’s no one stupid enough to try other than the Survey Corps.”

“Do you think they came for us?” Bertholdt asked nervously.

“I hope so.  I wonder how Historia’s doing…Is that her?”  A mess of blonde hair caught Ymir’s attention

“Annie?!” Reiner exclaimed.  “They freed her?  But why bring her if they're coming for us?”

“There’s only one reason.”  Bertholdt looked over his shoulder at his companion.  “To draw us out using her scream.”

“The same scream that’ll attract swarms of Titans?  If that isn’t the epitome of desperation I dunno what it is.  But there’s only three.  Who’s with her?”  She narrowed her eyes to get a better look.

Her answer came in the a form of Titan having its face sliced off.

Of course it’s the General.  Reiner grit his teeth.  “I’m tired of running.  I don’t care what they do to me or what they think of me.  I’m willing to accept responsibility for my actions.  If by some miracle they let me live, I’ll do anything I can to help bring down this empire of manipulation and barbarism.”

“We didn’t have a choice!  No matter how many times we say it, do you really think they’ll even bother giving us the chance to explain?”

“A choice?  Not then, no.  But we do now.  And I choose to go back and attempt atonement rather than stay out here where my death is certain.  Argue with me later Bertholdt.  Annie is about to scream and put herself, and General Saskia, in serious danger.  If I can prevent that by turning myself in I will.”

...

There were too many Titans surrounding the inner gate.  They had no hope of killing them all while also leaving enough time to move through the hole before more could come without Annie shifting.  Saskia was to stay at ground level while Kseniya used both the wall and the Female Titan itself as launching points to keep the shifter from becoming overwhelmed; she was also tasked with going atop the wall to see when the area had been cleared so they could take advantage of a very small window of opportunity as soon as possible.

The other two created considerable distance between themselves and Annie.  Saskia ordered Iolana to stay only as close as needed when the time for evacuation came.  The warhorse whinnied and galloped off.  Annie brought her thumb up to her lips.

A boisterous crackling, accompanied by a bolt of lightning crashed down from the heavens.  Kseniya and Saskia shielded their eyes from the impressive, blinding light.  When they were able to see again a confused Annie stood before them.  In the distance a cloud of steam appeared midair and the Armored Titan emerged from it, shaking the ground.

“They were up there all along?!” Kseniya exclaimed.  “That saves us a lot of time!”

“Where are Bertholdt and Ymir?”  Annie’s hands went for her blades.  Even without the Female Titan’s scream, the presence of the Armored Titan would draw unwanted attention.  It was already grabbing and tearing apart any Titans within arm’s reach.

“The Colossal Titan is an easy target,” Saskia pointed out.  “When Ymir’s Titan appears he will more likely than not be riding atop.”

Another bolt of lightning came crashing down and with it the Dancing Titan.  They could see Bertholdt on its back.  The shifters did not advance.  Though hardly the place for diplomacy, it was now or never.  

“Annie’s not moving,” Bertholdt observed.  “Is she a hostage?  Do you think she came of her own free will?”

The Armored Titan exhaled a cloud steam expressing agreement.  If Saskia was there to kill them, they truly had nothing to lose.  She remained armed, the logical thing to do in Titan territory; regardless of the logic they remained apprehensive.  Saskia held up both arms.  

“This is not the place for negotiations, so I wish to propose an armistice,” the General declared.  “If you do not believe me, I understand.  Were I in your position I would be suspicious and terrified.  By now you have seen Annie.  I welcome you to question her.  How and why she came.  Whether or not she was subjected to torture or placed in harm’s way.  The only place you will be able to safely converse, however, is in a Survey Corps outpost or supply station.  I realize it sounds like a trap.  Unfortunately all I can give you is my word that this is no ruse.  Come with us, speak with Annie, and I would be more than happy to answer your questions.”  The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end.   Titans approach.  Sounds like a five meter to my left, a seven meter and fifteen meter to my right, and...behind me...Fast.  She spun around.  “Annie, Kseniya, move!”

The Deviant charging from behind may have ignored them, charging simply to charge, but the risk wasn’t worth it.  The other two took to Iolana, who had come to recognize them as her secondary riders, while Saskia ran to greet the interloper.  The quadruped reached out for her, narrowly missing as she ran right in between its curling fingers and further beneath its arm.  In one fluid motion she aimed her hooks into its eyes and swung around, releasing her anchors as she sliced off its weak spot.

Seeing that only increased Bertholdt’s anxiety.  They might be next.  “We have no gear, no gas, and we can’t keep fighting as Titans if more come in droves.  I say we go with.”“Return to the supply station!  Avoid if possible, engage if you must!  Annie, you are not to shift!”

“You heard your boss, horse-whose-name-I-always-screw-up.  Hold on tight Annie!”

Saskia looked over at the other three.  “I made a promise that I would return with the lot of you alive and unharmed!  Lest you wish me to develop a reputation for failing to keep my word, move!”  She let out a tiny sigh of relief when the Dancing Titan came forward while the Armored Titan took a running stance.  “Ymir, I want you in front!  Bertholdt cannot fight, so you are to follow Annie and Kseniya!  Reiner, you and I will guard the others!”

The Dancing Titan sprinted past the General, almost knocking her to the ground to catch up with Annie and Kseniya.  The blonde was about to jump off to engage an oncoming seven-meter but the Dancing Titan leapt for it, catching its neck in its jaws.  The head snapped off, slicing the nape into several steaming lumps of meat.  Even within her Titan, Ymir ended up with a metallic tang agitating her tongue.

Not far behind the Armored Titan was kicking, elbowing, and throwing the Titans which made the mistake of coming too close.  It tried not to engage, only debilitate.  It had to be cautious with Saskia near its feet; she too realized this and took to running across the rooftops of the dilapidated buildings.  As she jumped from one building to another, careful not to lose her footing, she couldn’t help but recall part of Eren’s horror story from Trost.  Her fear almost became a reality when an arm shot up before her, causing the roof to collapse.  The fall knocked the wind out of her.  The Armored Titan reached in and snatched the man eater before it could grab her.  The shifter’s puppet threw it to the ground and stomped on it over and over again before ripping it in half and throwing the pieces in different directions.  

Up ahead Annie and Kseniya took a sharp turn on Iolana, veering towards the supply station.  The Dancing Titan crashed into a fallen house trying to keep up with their sudden shift in direction, sending debris flying.  While both the shifter and her Titan remained unharmed it noticed that Bertholdt was no longer there.  What almost became the first recorded Titan panic attack was immediately quelled when it saw Kseniya on the ground panting heavily and helping the other shifter to his feet.  Kseniya combined her strength and the force from the Dancing Titan’s crash to pull Bertholdt off in time before the debris could crush him.

“You alright big guy?” the brunette asked extending her arm.  He nodded quickly and reached for her hand.  It was calloused from years of violent obedience but there was a warmth beneath the rough flesh that echoed a gentle heart.

“Y-y-yeah,” he stuttered.  “I’m okay.”

Over Annie already?  Ymir internally rolled her eyes and the Dancing Titan shook off the debris, grabbing them both and continuing forward, trying to catch up to Annie.  The blonde had reached the supply station and was tying up Iolana, the other horses having been lost in the fray, and working on the door.  

“Where’s Saskia?!” Annie demanded with a shriek almost as bone-shattering as her Titan’s scream.

“Somewhere back there.”  Bertholdt pointed to the Armored Titan, who was furiously crushing a Titan with its enormous feet.  

“If she dies because of him, he’s dead to me,” the blonde hissed.  “Don’t just stand there!  Help me open the damn door!”  He rushed to aid the angry adolescent as Kseniya cut Ymir out of her Titan, leaving behind steaming remains.

“Saskia better not get too close to that,” Kseniya muttered, “or she might be fucked.”

“Potty mouth,” Ymir mock scolded.

“You’re any better?”

“Like you even know the first thing about me.”

“I know you’re a bitch.”

“Both of you shut up!” Annie barked again.  “This damn door won’t budge!”

“Maybe you’re supposed to push instead of pull?”

“YMIR!”

“Only trying to help…”

“Bullshit!” Annie seethed, muttering colorful insults under breath.  “How did Saskia open this last night?!”

“These are designed with special locks so non-military personnel can’t get in and steal supplies.  Lemme give it a try.”  Kseniya brushed past the other two, fussing with the large wheel-like handle.  She was vaguely familiar with its design; every Military Police headquarters had an underground bunker created in the event of a Titan breaching Sina.  “It’s like a combination lock.  Annie, keep lookout.  Ymir, if Saskia and Reiner aren’t over here within five minutes head over in Titan form and see what’s going on.  Bertholdt, once I unlock this I’ll need your help pulling it open.  They’re very heavy.”  She began breathing heavily as she struggled to move the ridiculous handle.

The seconds felt like hours but after a few more pulls, pushes, and turns, Kseniya unlocked it.  Bertholdt immediately grabbed on and the two began to pull, their heels embedding in the dirt.

“We’re still relatively secure.”  Annie kept her blades out in the highly probable event that were to change.

“What’s...going on...with the other two…?” Kseniya managed through labored breaths.  The door was partway open but she and Bertholdt worked up such a sweat that they were losing their grip.  She motioned for him to get on the other side to push from within while she continued to pull.

“Reiner’s digging around in a fallen house for something.”  Ymir’s pursed her lips.  “Or if our collective luck is as bad as it seems, someone.”

“Got it!” the tallest exclaimed, trying to catch his breath.  

“Looks like he’s carrying Saskia...She must’ve fallen through that busted rooftop.  Bet that Titan he shredded was inside waiting for her.  Hold up, how warm is the Armored Titan’s skin?!”

7:30 AM

“If she dies I swear I’m gonna kill all three of you.”

“I heard you the first time.”

“Shut up and dunk this cloth in some more water.  Her forehead is still really warm.”

“Don’t give me that attitude.  I’m helping you.”

“No Ymir, you’re helping you since Saskia is your ticket to seeing Historia again.”

“I never said my intentions were pure.”

The desire to ‘celebrate’ their reunion after the anti-climactic rescue was put on hold.  Saskia was taken into what appeared to be an officer’s sleeping quarters.  Concern outweighing embarrassment, Kseniya yelled at Reiner and Bertholdt to vacate and find water while she removed Saskia’s uniform, drenched from steam and sweat.  She tore up the General’s cape into rags and soaked them before placing one on her forehead, one around each wrist and ankle, draped one on her neck, and scattered some over other parts of her body to preserve Saskia’s dignity and hide Kseniya’s modesty.

Knowing that, like Marco and herself, Annie had been fed differing information than her comrades she told the three to find a room for themselves and share everything they knew to try and piece together the truth out of all the discrepancies.  This left Ymir with assisting Kseniya who took no issue with the task, though it had little to do with the task itself.

“Stop staring at her like that,” the pseudo-medic snapped.   How did she survive being in the Armored Titan when they tried to kidnap her?

“It’s not my fault I have an appreciation for the female form.  Levi is a lucky guy.”

“Dunno about that,” Kseniya said quietly as she reapplied cloth to Saskia’s forehead.  “I think Saskia’s great.  I support what she wants to do.  I’ve had a lot of time to think about myself and my own desires after defecting, and how I understand right and wrong.  Saving lives and second chances?  That’s wonderful, and I don’t think she’s in the wrong.  But she honestly believes once we get back she and Levi will be able to talk it out.  He won’t lose his mind the second he sees the one who killed his first squad.  Her worldview is almost totally black and white.  In some way or another it’ll all work out for the best.  And by ‘best’ I mean what she wants.  I think that’s part of why she hates being in a position of leadership.”

“She does?”

“The position or rank or title, whatever, ‘General’ was invented for her.  She prefers to be the support and hates taking credit for things.  It’s something she’s working on...At least that’s what she told me.  And I believe her, as I doubt she’d do something bold and dangerous if she didn’t think it helped the cause.  Listening to her talk though, passionate as she is, sometimes I can’t tell if -in her mind- there’s a difference between the ‘greater good’ and what she thinks is best.  Like the world will conform to her ideals because she’s striving to do what she thinks is the right thing.”

“Then why did you come with her?”

“Annie.  I needed to make sure she was safe and try to get her on the path to healing and acceptance.”

“So the ‘cruel overseer’ Reiner and Bertholdt told me about was just an act, huh?” Ymir asked as she checked Saskia’s clothes.

“Yeah.  I don’t know if Annie believes me and I don’t care.  But I know that  they would’ve done terrible things if they found any fault in her.  I think they went out of their way to find excuses to punish female subordinates.  As soon as I found out what they would do I immediately molded myself to be just as cruel and manipulative as them.  I felt this need to protect her from their depravity so I offered to ‘ensure she behaved’.  I was in charge of her punishment so I could be certain the abuse was limited to physical and emotional.”  Her eyes twitched and she rubbed at them with the back of her wrist.  “It reached a point where I didn’t know if it really was all an act or if I had some God given talent for cruelty and happened to have this chance to flex the muscle.  I still don’t know.”

“Does it matter?”

“Of course!  I beat her, demeaned her, I did so many awful things to Annie…”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“No, I hated it.  And I hated feeling like I had to do it, but I didn’t know what else to do.”

“You probably couldn’t do anything else.  Doesn’t make you a bad person.  Sometimes we have to do things we hate, things that revolt us, in order to survive.  This isn’t a world where you’re free to live.  You need to fight for your right to exist.”

“I can’t argue with you on that front.  If I did, then I’d have to think those three are the evil people the rest of the human race wants them to be.”

“Yet you can think it about yourself?”  Ymir raised an eyebrow.

Kseniya stifled a laugh.  “Yeah, I’m a hypocrite.  Geez, are they still talking?  I figured they were all fed various forms of the same lies but...I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.  Any of her clothes dry?”

“Undergarments only.”

“Thank God,” Kseniya breathed.  “If she woke up like this...”

Ymir gave her a thumbs up.  “It’ll be our little secret.”

“Damn pervert...Hell no, you are not putting those back on her.”  Kseniya made every awkward and embarrassed expression her muscles could muster as she removed the cold cloths and slowly put the two garments onto her superior.

“Sure you don’t want help?”

“No!” she hissed loudly, putting the cold cloths back in place.  “Oh, and you’re welcome for the rescue.”

“I didn’t ask for it, though I am grateful for the chance to see Historia.”  Ymir nodded towards the partially open door.  “Bertholdt begged that someone save us.  If you’re going to be thanked by anyone it’ll be him.  Reiner is probably reserving it for the General.  After we found their villages destroyed all he talked about was Saskia, whom he admires; me, whom he hates; the Beast Titan, which he’s very eager to kill; and Sasha, whom he’s got an itty bitty crush on.”

“The villages were destroyed?  What happened to Annie’s dad?”

“He was a rotting pile of goop.  I’m not exaggerating when I say that’s all that remains of him.”

“Did they...learn anything about the Beast Titan?”

“No.  Why is that thing so important to you guys?”

“I don’t know the entire history behind it, but I do know that thing is one of the biggest threats to the project.  Isamu himself has a lot of personal interest in seeing that thing killed.  Something to do with Oriental migration.”

Ymir winced and rubbed her left temple.  “They’re convinced I know something about it, and I’m starting to believe them.  When we first saw it...it seemed familiar...and whenever I hear about it, I get this weird headache.  Not an actual headache, but that throbbing feeling when you’re trying hard to recall something from your past.”

“Right, I forgot, you ate Marcel and went from regular Titan to shifter.  You must’ve encountered it at some point then, when it turned you from a human to a Titan.”

“I wish I knew when that was.  I can remember events up to sixty years ago, but I know it happened long before then.  When I was a Titan my memories faded more and more with each day.  All I could think about, while I was still able to think, was how badly I wanted to be a human again.”

Kseniya froze, eyes darting about and blinking rapidly as she processed the shifter’s words.  “Is that why Titans eat humans?” she asked quietly to herself.

“Hell if I know.”  Ymir shrugged.  “I couldn’t see why.”

“The closest a Titan, rather a former human, can get to being human again is trying to ‘become one’ with a human.  That might be what drives Titans to hunt us.  Then how come shifters are the only way for a Titan to become a human again, except they take on the shifter’s abilities…?  Never thought I’d say this since he was a boring conversational partner, but I kinda miss Grisha.”

“How exactly does Saskia plan on keeping Annie and the rest of us safe from the inevitable wrath of Levi and the rest of the Survey Corps?”

“Like I said before, her relationship with Levi isn’t on the line...Not in her mind.  I’m guessing that’s where it comes from, but she’s not idealistic to a point where she expects everyone to hug it out ‘cause we have a common enemy and we’re all victims.  She thinks that’ll allow for civil dialogue and negotiations.”

They both heard a stirring come from the bed.  Kseniya pointed to the door and Ymir left with a nod, the taller woman sitting at Saskia’s side.

“Hey there General,” she said quietly.

Saskia shielded her partially open eyes from a dancing light.  She tried to sit up but the person who greeted her conscious form shook her head.

“No, no, no.  You stay down,” Kseniya mock-ordered, easing her back down.  “You fainted from heat exhaustion.  We’re back in the supply station.  I’ve been doing my best to keep you cool.  How do you feel?”

“My head hurts and my stomach is doing somersaults.  Where are the other four?”

“I thought it best if Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt take some time to share everything they knew.  I wanted them to find the differences in what they thought to be true, and from the lies try and piece the actual truth together.  Ymir was helping me but I told her to let them know you’re awake.”

Saskia looked down.  “I’m hardly wearing anything.”  She gave Kseniya a suspicious glance.

“Uh, well, funny story-”

“You did exactly what any proper medic would do.  It’s awkward, yes, but I’ve also had to strip soldiers to tend to wounds, indiscriminate of gender.  You were in charge while I was incapacitated.  Did they respond well to your orders and assuming the position of leadership?”   It’s time I take my leadership position one step further.

“They didn’t voice any complaint.”

“I’ve figured out how I can provide the protection I promised them.  I want your honest thoughts.”

“Yeah, sure thing.  But how about you put some more clothes on first?  Your shirt is dry for the most part.  I had to tear up your cape to make those cloths...Sorry.”

“It’s another layer, one I most certainly do not need in weather conditions such as these.  How are they?”

“Suspicious, confused.  Annie was trying hard to defend you, Reiner seemed kinda relieved that it was you who was in charge of the rescue, and Bertholdt has mixed feelings but is glad that someone did come eventually.  Ymir only cares about seeing Historia.”

“Have you briefed them on our missions and objectives?”

“Thought about it but wasn’t sure how sensitive that information was.”

Saskia slipped into the rest of her clothing.  “I will do so then.  If they agree to be a part of it.”

“So...this is gonna sound weird but...the rescue operation was…”

“Underwhelming?  I’ll admit I anticipated more combat, going deeper into Titan territory, and the like.  But I can’t say I feel disappointed...I’m relieved they’re alright.  That’s all that mattered to me.”

“I think I see what you mean now when you talk about ‘risks’.  Alright then.”  Kseniya jumped to her feet.  “What’s this thing you wanted my opinion on?”

“Hold on a moment.  Come in Annie.”

The blonde looked somewhat startled as she opened the door, a fist still curled and ready to knock.  “It’s creepy how you can do that.”

Kseniya grabbed a water bottle and shoved it in Saskia’s face, non-verbally ordering her to drink before continuing.  She complied with a slight grin.  “Did you need something?”

“Ymir said you were up.  I was able to exchange information with the guys and we found endless contradictions in the things we thought to be true, as well as things we were told to pretend we didn’t know.  But they’re more interested in you right now, and what you plan to do when we leave this place.  Reiner wants to trust you but he’s still suspicious, as anyone in his position would be.  Bertholdt...he’s just scared.  I don’t think he’s convinced this is a rescue.”

“Would he have preferred Levi?” Saskia joked.

“That’s what I asked him.  Right now you’re the lesser of two evils.”

“I am still evil then.  When I have permission from Dr. Volkova, I would be more than happy to help put them at ease and address every concern they have.”

“You tired at all?” the pseudo-medic asked.

“A little lethargic.”

“In the ‘I have no drive’ sense or ‘my body feels like a ton of bricks’ sense?”

“The latter.”

“Then Dr. Volkova says you need hydrate more and try to get some actual sleep.  But drink first!”

While Saskia rested the other four took inventory.  As one would expect to find at a properly stocked Survey Corps supply station, there was spare gear -still fully functional- as well as gas and rations.  They took turns checking in on the sleeping soldier, none of them aware of how deep a sleeper she was.  When they were done Ymir, Reiner, and Bertholdt took the opportunity to have their first real meal in a long time, though it was no more than the flavorless dehydrated rations the other three had been stuck with.  It was still better than mediocre meat from piss poor hunting and tiny berries.

After they finished eating they all took a well-deserved rest, each waking around what they assumed was late afternoon.  Saskia awoke not longer after, having eaten while they dozed.  Her condition improved as much as one would expect it to in such a short amount of time and Reiner apologized profusely for rendering her into such a state.  She took no issue with it, as it was either be carried and inevitably succumb to the heat or try to run while struggling to breath.  The former made her less of a Titan target.

They did their best not to bombard her with too many questions, in part due to Annie having answered their most pressing ones.  She told them of how she broke out of the crystal and the choice she made to fight for her freedom, regardless of whether or not the rest of the world felt she deserved it.  She also, unbeknownst to Saskia and Kseniya, decided to join in the fight against the government, and ultimately the Titans.  After voicing her decision to her former partners in crime she began to second guess herself, but when Reiner shared his intent to do the same her confidence had returned.  Saskia gladly welcomed their aid.  Ymir made no secret of what she planned to do, though it went without saying that (as she told to Kseniya) her intentions were far from pure.  Bertholdt was the only undecided one.

The thought of revenge was tantalizing, but it wasn’t necessary.  Protection from the Survey Corps by the Survey Corps sounded impossible.  He knew what he wanted but he wasn’t sure how to get it.  He didn’t even know if he deserved it.  The latter he kept to himself.  While Saskia talked he only pretended to be listening.  The more comforting words she offered, the more uncomfortable he became.

“Regarding what Annie said, I would rather the three of you, and you as well Kseniya, not view yourselves as victims.  You have survived up until this point through your own resourcefulness and willpower, have you not?  All four of you have survived.  Not a single person in this room is a victim of their schemes, their abuse, their malevolent intentions.  ‘Survivor’ is the appropriate word.  I humbly request you remain aware of that from this point forward.”  She folded her hands in her lap.  “I am not here to convince anyone of anything.  I am only here with an offer.”  She breathed deeply.

“You have done horrible things, by conventional definition.  I know people who have a broken moral compass but have done acts of kindness, favors for others with no concern for their own benefit.  Your actions do not define your character, they are merely reflections and physical manifestations of what you believe.  Did you believe the horrible things you did made you horrible people, as you had horrible intentions?  Or did you do horrible things, unsure of how you saw yourselves, because you wanted to survive?”  She paused.  “Levi once told me there is a difference between selfishness and survival.  I find this to be an extreme example of that.  Unless you wish to prove me wrong and explain that you did in fact have malicious intent, that you wanted to be branded murderers, to lose the trust of those you considered friends and vice versa.  Did any of you want any of that?  You will have a chance to present your case and I will personally see to it that no harm befalls you.”  
“I don’t feel well.”  Everyone turned to Bertholdt.  “I’m...still really tired.”

Kid’s not a very good liar.  Dr. Volkova to the rescue.  Again.  “Come with me.”  She motioned for him to follow her.  “I’ll get that room cleaned up, the one Saskia was in, and you can sleep in there.  Bed might be a little damp…”

He could tell they caught his bluff but he didn’t care, he just had to get away from the ‘uplifting’ conversation.  It was too much to take in.

“You need to work on your lying skills, big guy,” she said softly as she gathered up the remains of Saskia’s Survey Corps cape.  “Why so eager to get out of there, hm?”

“Ah, well, it’s just-”

“Still pretty guilt-ridden too?”  Her tone took a sudden shift to sympathetic.  “I mean, I didn’t let in Titans, but...Being around Annie, hearing her and looking at her, I can’t not think about the things I did to her.  Talking about it with Ymir didn’t really help.” She sat down on the bed and pat the empty spot beside her.  “Relatively speaking I’m a neutral party here, so you can talk to me.”

Bertholdt reluctantly sat on the bed, putting as much distance between them as possible.  “You don’t feel undermined?  As if her enthusiasm for making things right will somehow erase everything we feel?”

“Nope.  She’s been in our shoes in her own way, and found things to keep her going other than that painful childhood.  I can respect that.  Hell, I envy it to a degree.  I wish there was more to me than my past.  I’ve only got a month between me and when I defected, sure, but I don’t feel like I’ve done much since then.  Maybe I’m expecting too much from myself...By that same token though, I dunno what unreasonable looks like.”  She casually rolled her shoulders.  “I can only do so much, but that’s not gonna stop me from trying.”

“What do you want to accomplish?”

“I want this all to end but I’m not the person for that job.  That won’t stop me from helping those more...equipped than me.  Like you guys, for example.  Well Annie for sure.  Can’t say I can devote my time and energy to supporting you...You don’t even know what you want.”

“Peace.”

“But the impending conflict scares you, doesn’t it?”

“Aren’t you scared too?”

“Of course!  But...I mean...Ya know…”  She nervously rubbed her forearm.   He’s the anxious one and yet here I am stuttering.  “It’s inevitable.  So I’m gonna be here for everyone.  Not like Saskia.  Her definition of help is fight the good fight.  I’m alright with running around gathering information.  That’s what I’m ultimately after.  What I want to accomplish.  It’s personal in more ways than I can count.  How about you actually get some sleep and we talk more tonight?”

“...sure.”

9:32 PM

Kseniya leaned back against the brick wall of the watchtower.  “I had good intentions.  Nothing good came of it.  So here I am doing a ‘bad thing’, helping the most hated people in the known world.  But for the right reasons.  And it’ll lead to good things.  Lives being saved, second chances, all that stuff.  And before you ask, I don’t know if you deserve a second chance.  That’s not for me to decide.”

“Who decides?”  Bertholdt rested his arms on the brick wall.

“Most would probably say God,” she shrugged.  “The General would say something like the grass.  I say that’s up to you.  Do you deserve a second chance?”  She glanced over at him.

He shook his head.  “I don’t know.”

“Yeah you do.  It’s scary, acknowledging you have it in you to be a better person.  Someone strong enough to try, brave enough to fail.  Someone who isn’t afraid to be hated or loved.  Are you strong and brave?  Can you accept hate or love?”

“I’m used to being hated.”

“But are you okay with it?  Not the same thing.”

“I begged that someone come save us.  If I need to beg to be saved- ”

“Then you’re honest,” she interrupted.  “More than can be said for most people.  Geez, I sound bitter and cynical tonight.  Not sure why...Maybe I’m still a little underwhelmed by our anticlimactic rescue mission.  You’re a good listener, you know that?  You listened to my rambling earlier though I was supposed to be lending an ear.”

“No…”  He shrugged off the compliment.  “I’m just quiet.”

“I noticed.  It’s refreshing.  Here’s the thing.  We’re all bracing ourselves for the return.  We’re insecure lunatics, but we’re doing what we can to change that before we get there.  Assuming we get back ALIVE you’ll need to steel yourself.  Figure out why you, just like everyone waiting for us on the other side of those walls.”  She motioned towards Wall Rose.  “Why you should be allowed to live.  You do think you have the right to live, don’t you?”  She sounded slightly worried.

“Sure I do.  I don’t know what’s going to become of me, and that makes it hard to think about how I can move forward.  What I should even try to do with myself.  Annie and Saskia have a lot in common, so she has someone to look up to.  Reiner, even when he’s unsure of himself, he doesn’t hesitate...and that’s how he figures himself out.  I don’t have something like that.”

She exhaled slowly through parted lips.  “Yeah, I know what you mean.  Here’s an idea.”  Her eyes lit up and she gave him a light backhanded tap on the back.  “We figure it out together.  Because honestly I have no idea what my future will look like.  I want to find and supply information.  Whether or not I can, I don’t know.  If I’m the person for it, I don’t know.  If I’ll get the chance, I don’t know.  Who ‘Kseniya Volkova’ is, I don’t know.  But there’s no turning back.  Not now, not ever.”

“Do you by chance have a nickname?” he asked hopefully.

She chuckled.  “‘Kseniya’ is rough for those who aren’t familiar with the language.”  She began counting off on her fingers.  “There’s Ksena, Ksyunya, Ksyusha, Ksyushka, and my favorite Ksyushen’ka...Take your pick!  Anyone who really struggled, they called me ‘Kay’.”

“When I was younger everyone called me ‘Bertl’.  It annoyed me until I was taken.  Reiner did it occasionally to tease me but when I told him it bothered me for other reasons he stopped.”

“That’s pretty cute.  Cuter than-”  She stopped, a loud crumbling interrupting her thoughts.  She turned around and faced Maria, eyes widening in horror as a large hand hoisted up an even larger fur-covered creature.

“Is that…the...?”  She could barely choke out a complete thought.

Bertholdt grabbed her arm and pulled her down before the Beast Titan could see them.  Its booming voice shook the partially collapsed wall as it spoke.

“The scent of a familiar bloodline...A distant child of the wolf...”  At first it sounded intrigued, then suddenly enraged.  “The first fraud…”

Rumbling noises came from all around as the sleeping Titans began to stir.

Downstairs, Ymir awoke in a cold sweat.  “It’s here,” she murmured frantically before shaking everyone else awake.  As she roused them from their slumber Kseniya and Bertholdt appeared, both shaking and panting heavily to try and catch their breath.

“We have a problem,” the brunette managed.  “The Beast Titan...We saw it...And it knows we’re here.  It knows I’m here.”

“What?  Kseniya what are you talking about?” Saskia demanded.

“It recognized the scent of my ‘bloodline’.  It smelled a ‘distant child of the wolf’.  Then it said ‘the first fraud’.  There’s only one thing the Titan-that-makes-Titans could mean by that.  That’s why they want her research.  Katya was the first shifter.”

“Ymir, you don’t look like you’re gonna faint,” Reiner observed.

“Maybe because I don’t feel faint!” she snapped.  “What the hell is this feeling?”  She put her hands on her head and started pacing.  “There’s something nostalgic about it…”

“It’s responsible for turning you into a Titan,” Kseniya reminded.  “Maybe you’re somehow connected to it ‘cause of that?”

From atop Maria the Beast Titan narrowed its eyes at the supply station.   It looked down at the mindless creatures meandering about and raised a lanky, furry arm pointing towards the supply station.  “Kill them.  Spare your sister.”

Ymir heard the order but it wasn’t directed at her.  It was a warning.  “Titans can’t break through here, right?”

“They would have no incentive.  When a human is out of sight and their scent is distant, fading, Titans will lose interest.  That is why these supply stations are below ground level.”

“What if they were ordered to try?” the dark-skinned female pressed.

“I doubt they could fit, unless one were to break the door apart and smash through the floors.”

SLAM!

Wall Sina, Mitras, Royal Palace, August 9th, 5:38 PM

“I don’t see why you’re so upset.  We were hoping for this.  We wanted her to take that failure of a shifter and use her to find the others.”  Isamu calmly poured himself another cup of tea.  “We wanted to drive a wedge between her and Levi, riding on the hope that she would do it for us.”

Kenny grumbled something under his breath, lips curving to the side in disgust as he did.  “Yeah, we were.  Honestly I wasn’t entirely certain she’d do it.  Here’s something we didn’t take into consideration.  They’re her cadets.  She’ll pity them, she’ll try to protect them.  Not just from Levi but from us too.  They’ll ruin it.  They’ll tell her about Erwin.  And she might believe them.  We’ve got no way of knowing.  If that happens we lose our bait, our trap, the incentive.  If we try to apprehend them we she returns that’ll only affirm whatever they told her.  She’s coming back with an army of shifters, and Kseniya, who will tell her everything.”

“We don’t know for certain if they’ll join her.  All we wanted was for her to try.  Even if she returns empty handed, Levi will despise her.”

“Something she’ll try to fix.  We didn’t think that through.  Suppose there’s no point in bitching.  We’ll deal with it when she’s back.  How about the song?  Has anyone found anything?”

“Nothing substantial...No one is leaving until Gloria's original files are found.  As soon as we have that, we’ll be one step closer to finding out the things Katya learned that our predecessors couldn’t.  Starting with the Beast Titan."