Twisting the Knife Chp 24: Living Nightmare

Survey Corps Headquarters, Hanji’s Office, July 12^th, 12:29 PM

Having been kicked out when trying to find the records of Luzia Messmann’s deceased child pursuing further was dangerous as Moblit would be recognized. Had someone else gone in to request the records with or without having looked at the 822 census even more suspicion would be aroused towards the Survey Corps as a whole. As much as they wanted to dig deeper into the mystery that was Luzia’s fiancé, and possibly Saskia’s father, there was nothing more they could do at the current. With the expedition over Hanji thought it best to tell Saskia what they were doing; better to find out now before the political skirmish they were caught in escalated. Levi was still greatly opposed to making any connections between her and Kenny, but it was clear that his emotions were getting the better of him.

“There isn’t a damn thing we could tell her without having to elaborate further.” Levi stood at the window, making mental note of gray clouds off in the distance rolling in their direction. “If we tell her that her parents never served she would want to know why we looked into it in the first place. And why did we do that? Because she could have Oriental blood. If she has Oriental blood she’s…valuable.” He shuddered at the use of the word, both its denotations and connotations. “I’ve already told her that Isamu and Kenny have worked together in the past. Kenny’s men were the ones who went after Mikasa’s mother and the girl herself."

“There is no perfect time to tell her.” Hanji took off her glasses and face planted onto the desk. “Not something like this.” She looked up at him. “The situation with Eren and the monarchy is only going to get worse. I also think she has every right to know that she’s been lied to. If we could locate Luzia Messmann and find out if she’s Saskia’s mother that would be fantastic. But even if we can’t, even she isn’t, Saskia still has every right to know that she’s been lied to about her parentage.”

“What disturbs most about this entire mess is the fact that, despite knowing as much as I do, I have no idea what to do with that information. I have all these puzzle pieces but I don’t know how to put them together. She already knows I’m keeping something from her. She didn’t badger me for answers, surprisingly.”

“She probably trusted that, if you are keeping something to yourself, you have good reason. There’s a difference between keeping something from her and keeping something to yourself, after all.”

“I don’t know what she thinks I’m doing. All she said was she knew that I ‘wasn’t telling her something’. Whether she thinks I’m keeping something from her or keeping something to myself, I have no idea.”

“Do you even know what you’re doing Levi?” she asked quietly.

“…that’s a good question. I am certain that Saskia is caught in the middle of something. The census records and behavior of the receptionist at the bureau confirmed. I just wish I knew what that something was.” The Living Weapon that Isamu wanted…Why do I remember that conversation so well? I don’t even remember how old I was. Five, six, seven…Something within that range. What else did he and Kenny talk about? There was something else. Something significant. Something I feel I should already know.

Survey Corps Headquarters, First Year Cadet Male Dorms, 12:31 PM

“Eren, I promise that they won’t take you. Your friends from the 104^th Trainee Squad are here. Though he would never admit it you are one of the few cadets Levi can bring himself to tolerate. That’s truly saying something. I want you to believe me when I say I know how you feel. I have never shared this with anyone other than Levi, Erwin, Mike, or Hanji…but the reason that I always felt responsible for everyone’s safety, that it was my duty to ensure everyone returned alive, that I had to be as strong as possible was because of how I was raised. And if I made a ‘mistake’, a word which Shardis had a very broad definition for, I was punished. Synonymous to child abuse. I have many scars covering my body, approximately one-third of which I have received in outside the walls. I was terrified of making the wrong decision because of what Shardis might do to me. I had been conditioned to believe that if I made the wrong decision every causality, injury, even supplies we were low on…That was my fault. Something I had to learn, something Levi damn near screamed at me time and time again, is that I cannot hold myself accountable for things I have no control over. And that was a situation over which not only you lacked control, it was a situation where none of us had control. Not even the Female Titan.”

After returning Eren refused to leave the dorms. Mikasa tried to drag him to the mess hall to eat lunch but he refused. Saskia anticipated that he would hold himself accountable for what happened and having plenty of experience with operating under a similar mindset, she hoped that she could ease his woes a little. Eren was no different than Levi earlier that morning, unresponsive and disconnected.

“He’s been like this since we came back,” Mikasa said quietly, brushing his hair out of his face. He didn’t acknowledge her familiar touch. “I don’t know if he heard you. I don’t even know if he’s listening.”

Saskia nodded slowly. “It can’t be forced. He will come back to us eventually. Just don’t push. Guide. If that makes any sense.”

Mikasa squeezed his hand tightly, clutching it to her chest. “They won’t take him. They can try…but they’ll have to go through me first.”

“I understand that you are protective of Eren, but don’t forget that you aren’t the only one working to protect him. He isn’t alone in this. Neither are you. I noticed something about the 104^th graduates, something I have never seen before with new recruits. The lot of you, having experienced the fall of Maria and the Battle for Trost together, have already forged very strong bonds as friends and as soldiers. You know each other’s philosophies and ideologies, life stories and history -some of which you created together-…That will prove to be greatly beneficial to you, no different than understanding each other’s strengths and weaknesses in combat.”

Mikasa nodded slowly. “Thank you General, for your assistance.”

“You know you can call me Saskia.”

“You’ve known the Lance Corporal since he was a cadet, correct?  Why are you so close to him?”

She blinked in surprise, for a brief moment questioning if her sense of hearing was starting to deteriorate. “Why am I close to him? What do you mean by ‘close’?”

“You don’t go around abusing your authority. You don’t enjoy barking orders or giving punishment for the slightest infraction.”

“Mikasa, if that’s what you think of Levi, please do remain mindful of the fact that you have not been here for very long. A great deal of what you may have overheard about him…rumors, simple as that. One negative experience with Levi and suddenly he’s evil. If that were so he and I would always be butting heads. Intensely and consistently. Remember, assaulting Eren was my idea.”

“He didn’t question you,” she grunted.

“We had to think on our feet. He didn’t eagerly jump out there. He knew it had to be done to save Eren’s life.”

“You must have known him for a very long time then.”

“Only six years. It’s a long story and not mine to tell. We didn’t get along at first. We would get into fights all the time, verbally and physically.”

“You won most, right?” She looked slightly hopeful.

“We’re evenly matched. Why are you so curious about Levi and I?”

“I find it strange that someone as kind as you can be so close and affectionate with someone so…aggressive as him.” Eren started that stupid betting pool for a reason.

“I suppose it is strange…” Saskia smiled softly. “But I think that’s what makes a friendship, or any relationship, so beautiful. The inexplicable. The way things fell into place. You were living with Eren for only a year before Maria fell, correct? Were you already very close then?” Mikasa nodded. “Levi and I were no different. Granted we are still very prone to getting into fights and arguments, explosive ones at that. But if we didn’t…Can you really claim to have a close bond with someone if you don’t experience such trials together? How boring would that be? If there’s one thing I’ve truly come to love about my time with Levi it’s that no matter how intense our arguments or fights may be I always know that the storm will pass and we can move on amicable as ever. What is it about him that you dislike so much? If you don’t mind my asking.”

“He left a terrible first impression,” Mikasa replied with a slight glare.

Saskia chuckled. “He’s not one for ‘good’ first impressions, that much is true. But he certainly does leave an impression. He is very polarizing and he won’t deny it. He doesn’t allow the opinions of others to faze his self-image. If you or Eren need me, you know where to find me. Make sure he eats. That’s an order, Cadet Ackermann.”

“Yes General.”

When Saskia returned to her office she found Levi inside reclining on her couch, pretending to be obedient when she told him to keep pressure off of his leg.

“What brings you here?” Her eyes were fixated on his injury.

“Do I need an excuse to see you?” he asked raising an eyebrow.

“You’re supposed to be off your feet-” Her nose twitched and she noticed a mug on her desk. Panic Tea. She had a feeling it had nothing to do with the thunderstorm about to hit. She sat at her desk and emptied the mug of its contents while he silently waited for her to finish, trying to think of the best way to start the conversation.

No perfect timing, no perfect way to word it. “Shardis lied to you about your parents.”

She folded her arms over her lap, slightly slouched over. “…I know,” she said quietly. He was about to sit up but she gave him a warning glare and he refrained. “He never told me anything about them. No names, no combat history, nothing. I wanted to know more about the people whom he held in high enough esteem to ‘raise’ their child. I looked into our archives a few years ago, before I met you, and found no other soldier with the surname ‘Messmann’. My record didn’t include any information on immediate family members. I continued to play along…partially because I didn’t want him to know that I had found out, but mostly because I didn’t want to know why. Or how. Or what it means.”

“You’re going to hear everything I have to say whether you like it or not. No interrupting until I’m done.” She nodded and he took a deep breath. “I made Hanji look into the archives and, like you, she didn’t find anything. I told her to look into public census records. She sent her boy toy to do it since it was less likely that he would be recognized as a member of the Survey Co- close your mouth, I told you not to interrupt. Sending him was a surprisingly good idea on her part because the kid has a photographic memory and is a good artist. He was able to draw up copies of what he found and the little shit struck gold over in Sina. From the 822 census he found a woman named Luzia Messmann, a native of Shiganshina now living in Stohess. Her marital status was ‘engaged’ which wouldn’t have been important unless they had a child together. According to the document she had a daughter. The name had been blacked out except for the initials, ‘S’ and ‘M’. The kid’s birthday was February 25^th, 822. She was listed as deceased. Luzia’s fiancé’s name wasn’t listed. When Moblit asked to see the birth and death certificate for the infant he was kicked out. The reason I started looking into this is because I noticed something about you after she joined. Once I saw her face, and tried not to vomit, I noticed you had similar traits. The only reason I could think of omitting her fiancé’s name would be if he were Oriental. It’s too risky with the slave trade.” He hesitated which she took as a sign to brace herself. “The way conditioned you to be the ‘perfect soldier’ was very meticulous. Like Shardis knew what he was doing. Like he had a particular expectation, a concrete idea of what the ‘perfect soldier’ meant. Highly reminiscent of the stereotype about Orientals. How or why you came here, I don’t know. Bottom line, I’m convinced you’re part Oriental. Whether or not Isamu knows about you or your father, I couldn’t say. But I think you were brought here to be molded into perfect soldier. Someone familiar with that stereotype brought you here for that reason. Shardis could’ve sought you out himself. Maybe Luzia sold you to the highest bidder.”

She leaned back in her chair, slowly trying to digest his words. It was a lot to take in at once. “When did you start looking into this?” she asked quietly.

“Not long after we came back from the old headquarters.”

“Why did you wait until now to tell me?” Her tone shifted from confused to mildly annoyed.

“Because if someone wanted to make the ‘perfect soldier’ out of you it’s possible Isamu could be directly connected. He wanted to make something called the Living Weapon. Sounds a lot like what Shardis subjected you to, doesn’t it? And if Isamu is directly connected then Kenny could be too. His men were the ones who tried to take Mikasa’s mother and almost took her, no doubt with the intention of selling them off to the highest bidder. But instead of selling a female with Oriental blood to some creepy old fuck with a fetish for little girls, you ended up here. That’s what I don’t understand.”

Difficult as it was to view any of this new information from a logical perspective he brought up a very valid point, and she forced herself into the most objective mindset she was capable of at the moment. “You’re referring to the stereotype that Oriental men are inherently powerful, while women are beautiful and…”

“Born with the ability to make a guy cum just by batting her eyelashes.”

Both a killing machine and a sex object. Thank you, Levi. Very helpful. “That’s certainly one way of phrasing it.”

He furrowed his brow. “You’re taking this oddly well. Too well.”

“You were afraid that Shardis’ attempt at conditioning me into this ‘Living Weapon’ would cause me to go ballistic.” She pointed at the empty mug. “Hence the Panic Tea. Considering everything that we have had to endure over the last month or so I think I’m still in the process of taking in the fact that it’s possible for humans to create a Titan form and control it.” She chuckled. “I can see it now, everything hitting me all at once. That’s going to be lovely.” She wrapped her arms around herself, bracing herself for the impending storm. “I’m not angry. I am glad that you told me. And I understand your hesitation for doing so. Shardis aside it implies a connection between Kenny and myself, and that’s not something which would bode well with you…to put it nicely. But from now on what you know, I know. That is non-negotiable.”

“Of course.”

A fork of lightning cut through the sky and the thunder began to rattle her windows. She quickly rose to close them, inhaling deeply through her nose immediately after. She felt something tugging at one of her straps and looked over her shoulder. Levi had hooked his finger into the strap that ran diagonally down the back of her leg, slips curving into the faintest smile when he noticed it was twisted around the back of her knee.

“Tch. You still can’t put them on correctly? You’re unbelievably hopeless.” He tugged a little harder, beckoning her towards him.

Rolling her eyes at his mildly adorable childish behavior she sat next to him and he immediately dropped his head onto her lap. “But that’s what I have you for, right?”

“Shut up. Pillows don’t talk.” He closed his eyes.

“Pillows? Levi, you’re not going to-?...Little jerk just fell asleep on me,” she deadpanned. “At least he’s off his feet.” She folded her arms over his chest and leaned down to kiss him on the nose. “Amazing how harmless he looks when he’s asleep.”

Thwack!

“Pillows. Don’t. Talk,” he grumbled, flicking her on the forehead.

“You need to be nicer to your girlfriend,” she scolded.

“Tch. You need to obey your boyfriend, who is conveniently your superior officer.”

“Abuse of authority.”

“Don’t care,” he yawned.

“I understand you’re exhausted but wouldn’t you be more comfortable on a bed?”

“That would require moving and I’m supposed to stay off my feet, remember?”

Her lips curved into a thin line. “…well played. Fine, but I’m only allowing it because you look so cute when you sleep.”

“You watch me when I sleep? That’s fucking creepy.” He peeked an eye open. “You gonna be alright?”

She glanced at the window. “It’s just water. Nothing to be afraid of. Now get some sleep.”

“You better be here when up,” he muttered, turning his head so he was facing the couch.

“And why wouldn’t I be?”

“Hell if I know.” His voice began trailing off. “Just…be here…That’s an order…” It wasn’t long before Levi fell asleep, still positioned with his head on her lap.

As peaceful as he appeared she knew the real reason he wanted her to be there when he awoke from the inevitable nightmares that would plague him for months to come. Much to her surprise no one came to her office, granting him roughly four hours of a restless sleep. She could feel his pulse escalate and he broke into a cold sweat, all the while she spoke to him softly recounting some of her favorite memories they shared. When he awoke he was startled, extremely alert, and hypersensitive to every sensory stimulus in his immediate environment. He tried to catch his breath, feeling as though some unseen supernatural force was ripping the air right out of his lungs. Jumping slightly when he felt something soft on his forehead, he looked up and saw Saskia dabbing her sleeve on his cool skin to get rid of the sweat.

“I thought about waking you up to end it, but it really won’t make much difference will it?”

“Does it ever?”

“No, I suppose not.” Again, useless. No…still useless.

“You better not be thinking that you’re completely useless. If you were, I wouldn’t be here. Dumbass…” He flicked her on the forehead again. “Tch. You’re quick to worry over nothing. Have I ever told you that?”

“Only a handful of times.”

“Do me a favor and commit it to memory.”

“What do you think is going to happen now?” She reclined back into the arm of the couch and he hoisted himself up, leaning into her chest. As her chin dropped to his head, now her turn to use him as a pillow, she rolled her eyes when she realized where his head conveniently landed.

There is a God after all… He nestled into her chest, devious smirk on his face. “Seeing as the Military Police enjoys sucking the monarchy’s dick more than doing their job, though they could be the same thing, they’re more likely to take their side on any matter. That includes the verbal diarrhea pouring out of Nile Dawk’s mouth at the trial. I see one of four things happening should they get their way. The Military Police execute Eren, the monarchy publicly executes Eren, the Military Police execute Eren and the Survey Corps officers who were summoned, or the monarchy publicly executes Eren and the Survey Corps officers who were summoned.”

“Myself…You…Erwin.”

“Sounds likes a gay old time, doesn’t it? Your turn. What shitshow do you anticipate?”

She unconsciously tightened her grip on him. “No one touches the Survey Corps and no one comes anywhere near my cadets. No one. They are my responsibility and the Survey Corps is the only home I’ve ever known. And what happened to me as a child, as a young adult, that was part of someone’s agenda. It had nothing to do with the Survey Corps itself. There’s also the terrible reputation it holds. Strange as it sounds I enjoy knowing from first-hand experience that the rumors about us, they’re exaggerations, misconceptions, or completely inaccurate. Sort of like…an inside joke meant just for me.”

“…you’re weird.”

“When I was very young I used to think this building was a castle and because I was given special treatment, not referring to Shardis’ conditioning of course, I thought I was a princess. I had been legally adopted by the Commander, and that intimidated some people. I remember once when-”

“Wait.” He sat up and carefully moved his legs over the edge of the couch, wincing slightly. Turning at the waist to face her he repeated himself and put up a hand to silence her. “Wait. Shut up with the reminiscing for a minute. Were you…legally adopted?”

“We don’t know, remember? You said so yourself. You don’t know how I ended up here.”

“If you were legally adopted, closed adoption or not, there would be some sort of documentation. Unlike the census records it’s not available to the public. Only Shardis and the biological parents would have copies.”

“There’s also the fact that the department refused to disclose my- I mean the birth and death certificate of Luzia Messmann’s daughter. There might not be any adoption records if the child is legally dead.”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t think that’s the case. Hanji was right when she said it’s unusual for a child to have their mother’s last name if a father is listed, regardless of marital status. The name scribbled out was long enough to have been ‘Messmann’ and the first initial was ‘M’. But that might not have been the child’s birth name. The name on the birth certificate is likely to be the same as the father. The census record listed the child as three days old and deceased. With me so far?”

“The birth name would be that of the father and reflected on the birth certificate. The last name was legally changed before death, explaining why it might read ‘Messmann’ on the census record. That means it was her legal name when she died.”

He nodded. “This is where it becomes messy. If that child is you then the death certificate is obviously a forgery. If the child’s name was legally changed from the father’s name to the mother’s before death, it would be reflected on the census record. And the death certificate would list the new name. But it would be kept with the birth name because the documents revolve around the same person. The information on an individual is kept together in one file.”

“In other words…The reason Moblit was denied access to the birth and death certificate is because the birth name wouldn’t match that on the census record, nor the death certificate.”

“The name change wasn’t just to cover up Oriental blood. It was to cover up the fake death. And after the name was changed the only way someone could tie the two names together is if they had access to the birth certificate and the death certificate. The child’s name was probably scribbled out in case anyone knew Luzia had a daughter because they would expect the name at the time of death to be the father’s last name.”

“…that would mean the father’s last name begins with ‘M’ as well.”

“And if that child is you, whoever wanted you in the Survey Corps clearly has a lot of political influence. Otherwise the government wouldn’t be in possession of a fake death certificate, nor would they go to such great lengths to protect it.”

“OK.” She puckered her lips and inhaled deeply through her mouth. “Assuming all of this is true…Luzia Messmann and an unknown Oriental man are my birth parents. My surname by birth is not ‘Messmann’. I was taken into the Survey Corps to be turned into the ‘perfect soldier’ those of Oriental descent are believed to be capable of. To cover this up a fake death certificate was issued, still listing the birth name. The census record has the name scribbled out except for the initials. The last name also begins with ‘M’. I was given the ‘Messmann’. No one in the Survey Corps questioned this…The other high ranking officers would have known, and the rest wouldn’t because it’s almost impossible to remember the name of every soldier. Somehow my existence was brought to Shardis’ attention and he used his connections to have a death certificate forged."

“This is going to sound outlandish, but to fair you’ve said crazier things. Do you remember when you said that what Flagan was doing could go all the way to the monarchy? And he was in fact working for one of the highest nobles, Lobov? I think that…if you were brought into the Survey Corps to become the ‘perfect soldier’…Shardis wouldn’t always be the Commander. Some sort of trail is being left behind for you to follow. And if I had to guess those involved in human trafficking are behind it. They could influence the monarchy. And if that’s why you were taken into the Survey Corps, that information would have to die with Shardis and all the other high ranking officers at the time of the ‘adoption’.”

“But because Shardis couldn’t be with me forever, whoever is behind it wants me to figure this out. They want me to figure out that I am this Living Weapon that Isamu was hoping to create.”

He fell back into the couch. “Fuck, this really has been a…day. There isn’t a word for it.”

“You know, neither of us ate lunch because you were sleeping.”

“Not hungry. Nauseous, if anything.” He crossed his arms over his chest, grinning out of mirth. “I lost my squad, got a girlfriend, fucked up my leg...in less than half a day. After I publish my autobiography I’ll be so damn rich. Maybe I’ll finally be able to live in Sina like I once hoped-”

She shot him a disapproving glare and lightly punched him in the upper arm. “That’s enough,” she scolded. “You’ll only make yourself feel worse.”

He lazily rolled his eyes in her direction. “What’s one more?”

“If your leg wasn’t injured I would hug tackle you right now.”

“Someday you’ll literally smother me with affection.”

“Maybe. But until then, I’m going to eat.” She jumped to her feet and stretched her arms. “If you want to sleep more, well, my couch is your couch. Same applies to the bed. I’ll bring you back something, alright? And before you ask, yes, I will make you tea when you wake up.”

“Damn right you will.”

Translation, ‘thank you Saskia, you’re wonderful. She tried not to snicker as she made her way down to the mess hall she was surprised to see Armin still down there, hardly having touched his food. After grabbing some food for herself she sat across from him. He tried not to acknowledge her presence.

“I can tell something is on your mind,” she began, taking a careful sip of her warm soup. “Something…frustrating. Perhaps I sound like a doting mother when I say these things to you, but should you find yourself in such a situation-”

“It’s not that,” he replied monotonously, his tone very close to Levi’s. “I want to figure something out, but my feelings are getting in the way. And I don’t feel comfortable sharing everything. Not just yet. But when I can, I will.”

She nodded. “Understandable. Be sure to remain conscientious of the fact that as a soldier you have an obligation to share information if it pertains to our work, regardless of your personal feelings.”

“Yes, I know.” He lazily stirred his soup, now cold. “General, if you were in my position what would you do?”

“I have been in your position once before. I was given an order but I couldn’t follow it. I followed my intuition instead. However, the difference between my experience and yours is that my objective was very specific and in my eyes…wrong. I don’t know what’s tumbling around in that brilliant mind of yours but this is my advice to you. Do not let your emotions cloud your judgment. Consider the facts as objectively as you possibly can and after doing so let your intuition guide you from there. Some think they’re the same, feelings and intuition. Not so. Emotions are colored by past experience, preconceived notions, personal philosophies, and attachments. Intuition pays no mind to any of that. That ‘gut feeling’ you have…Listen to it. It’s there for a reason.”

“OK. I’ll use that approach and see if it helps.”

“It will,” she replied confidently. “Don’t mistake my words as arrogance. It’s a reflection of the faith I have in you. During the open terrain training I said that there is space for emotions outside the walls. But I also said those emotions are a direct result of the bonds you share with your comrades. It’s also a test of character. Exactly how much will you allow your feelings to influence your decision making, especially in such dangerous territory?” She noticed Armin still hadn’t touched his soup and switched their bowls, having grown used to the taste of cold and stale food courtesy of Shardis’ punishments. “But the walls can be just as dangerous as the great expanse beyond, waiting for us. Your character is always being tested. It’s par for the course in the military, as you saw when one of the cadets…took his own life before we returned to headquarters. Eat. That’s an order.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Remember when I told you about our history? What was the first name of the Survey Corps, when it was still a lose affiliation of anarchist separatists who envision a world for the people, by the people?”

“The Scouting Legion.”

“Why?”

“They took it upon themselves assemble a formal military branch which scouted the land outside the walls.”

“And the name after that?”

“The Recon Corps. Short for Reconnaissance.”

“Why?”

“The new objective was to begin the assault on the Titans. To begin the fight for the world outside.”

“And now? Why the Survey Corps?”

“A combination of the two. Because we have a better understanding of Titans and enhanced weaponry it’s easier for us to go out and fight them even farther from the walls than the Scouting Legion could reach and the Recon Corps’ ability to fight back.”

She nodded. “The reason I ask this is because, as I said, you are one of the few. The majority want to stay within the ‘safety’ of the walls. There is no room for such a mindset in the Survey Corps. We want to break down the walls as well but our motivation for doing so is drastically different than that of the Armored and Colossal Titans. Perhaps even the female. We want to destroy all Titans and take back the world which rightfully belongs to us. If there are no Titans there is no need for the walls. So if you have any sort of idea, even pithy postulation, share it. Our knowledge will always be limited but our actions stem from what we do with that knowledge. And the more we act the more we learn. Risky as it may sound, if we cannot bring ourselves to take risks what right to we have to hold onto any hope for survival? When you’re done eating I want you to go see the Commander right away and discuss your thoughts with him. That’s an order,” she said firmly.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Good. I knew you of all people would understand. You might not be the strongest in body but you are damn near unrivaled in mind.”

I wish I wasn’t…Then I wouldn’t suspect Annie… “Thank you General.”

“Of course.” She finished her meal, put away her tray, and grabbed another to bring to Levi. After she left Armin did as told but a new idea began nagging at him.

Someone incapable of sacrificing everything, even their humanity, can accomplish nothing. He watched her depart. But she sees it differently. She believes that holding onto our humanity is what allows us to survive. The Commander would sacrifice his men without hesitation if it meant completing his goals. The General ensures all are prepared to avoid as many causalities as possible. He uses action determined in the moment, she uses knowledge implemented in the moment. Is his approach the reason we failed to properly identify the Female Titan? Risks riding on hope as an absolute, or any means necessary no matter how great the potential cost? He bit his lip and then continued to eat. I doubt there is one right approach. Both of their methods have worked in the past. Still, I wonder how different things would have been if she were in the charge.

Survey Corps Headquarters, Mess Hall, 6:23 PM

As promised Saskia made Levi’s tea after he awoke but he wasn’t able to enjoy it in her office. Erwin gave a direct order to both of them to smuggle Eren to the old headquarters and supervise him. He gave no reason but promised to reconvene with them as soon as possible.  They had been waiting for roughly two hours. Both males were seated at one of the tables while Saskia kept going back and forth to replenish Levi’s drink in effort to ward off his growing frustration and impatience. Eren couldn’t help but wonder if the tides had turned in the betting pool as he watched the two.

Come dinner time the three ate in silence and Erwin still had yet to arrive. Out of habit Levi almost rose to pace back and forth, tired of sitting still for so long, but Saskia pushed down on his shoulders to keep him in place.

“Don’t even think about it,” she warned.

“Tch. Stop babying me, woman.”

“I will tie you this chair if I have to,” she hissed.

He looked over his shoulder at her so Eren couldn’t see the grin on his. ‘That’s incentive’ he mouthed out and she flicked him on the forehead. Normally they would never act so casually around a subordinate but Eren had already been exposed to their ‘other selves’ when outside the walls, making him the exception. It served as inspiration for the betting pool, which now not only entailed how long it would take but who would be the initiator. Only two or three placed money on an already established secret relationship but determining the initiator bordered on the impossible.

“They’re late,” Levi griped. “Erwin and his men are keeping us waiting.”

Saskia leaned back against the cold stone wall facing the table Eren and Levi were seated at. “At this rate the MP escorts will arrive before them.”

“He’s probably constipated and having a rough day,” he reasoned.

As Saskia pressed a fist against her mouth to stifle laughter Eren, anxious the entire time, broke into a smile. “You’re talking a lot today, Heichou.”

“Don’t be stupid. I always talk a lot,” he said casually, finishing his tea. “Oi, woman. Make yourself useful and get me some more. This time in a clean mug.”

Eyes flat and arms crossed over her chest she said, “Do I look like a serving wench? I’m by no means obligated to listen to you.”

“Tch. I’m your superior officer. Do as I say.”

“Absolutely not. That’s abuse of authority.” Her expression softened when heard the familiar clicking of his tongue as he reached for his injured leg, trying not to grimace. He wasn’t faking it but even if he had she couldn’t resist after seeing that. “I’ll be back soon.” She retrieved the empty mug to make another cup.

“You had better,” he called over to her.

Silence fell over the room once more but Eren was quick to break it before it overwhelmed the atmosphere. “I’m sorry. Back then, if I hadn’t made the wrong choice…” His already balled fists tightened. “This never would’ve happened.”

“I told you…” Levi began in a strangely quiet tone. The memories were still all too fresh; the easiest way to mask his pain in conversation was to appear stoic as usual, but disconnected as well as though the subject were inconsequential. He found the best way to do so was to speak quietly appearing uninterested. “No one ever knows how things will turn out.” Either he was a psychological masochist or his mind had a mind of its own, as the images of Isabel’s severed head and Farlan’s mangled form flashed through his mind.

Though she was within Eren’s line of sight he still didn’t see Saskia arrive. Overhearing part of the conversation, she set the tea down and rested her palms on the edge of the table facing the adolescent. “You cannot be faulted for what you do not know.” Though she held eye contact with Eren her physical closeness to Levi told him that her words were directed at both of them. She knew him well enough to know what was running around in his head.

The door opened and Eren rose, the officers turning to face it. Saskia kept her back towards it, placing minor strain on her neck as she looked over her shoulder.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“Not at all, sir,” Eren stammered. He had no idea what was going on or why he had to stay with Levi and Saskia, but after she shared her conversation with Armin with both her superiors Erwin deemed it best that the impulsive Eren stay out of the conversation. Hence his surprise when he saw the rest of the 104^th graduates in the Commander’s presence. “You guys!” he said surprised. “Um…”

“We have identified a person of interest who may be the Female Titan,” Erwin announced. Eren gasped loudly as he added, “This time, we won’t let her escape.” The group gathered at the table, each holding a document drafted that outlined the plan. Saskia stayed on her feet, looking over Levi’s shoulder reading his copy instead.

Erwin spread out a map of Sina. “It will take place in Stohess, on our way to the capitol. “This is our first and last chance. Once we pass that point, Eren will be remanded to the capitol. Our pursuit of those who seek to destroy the walls will become fraught with difficulty. Ultimately, humanity stands to go extinct. We will stake everything on this plan.” Eren nodded. “Here it is.” Erwin began running his finger along the map. “When we pass through Stohess, Eren will act as a decoy, and lead the target into this underground tunnel. If we can get her to the lowest level, given the tunnel’s size and structural integrity, even if the target transforms we can immobilize her. But if she transforms before then…Eren, we’ll need your help.”

“Yes sir. As for the target…Are we sure she is in Stohess?”

We stationed her there. “Yes, our target is a member of the Military Police.”

“The Military Police?”

“It was Armin who arrived at that conclusion. He believes the target also killed the two captured Titans. She may be a former trainee from the 104^th, the same as you.”

This must be what Armin was struggling with earlier, Saskia thought to herself.

Eren’s eyes widened. “W-wait a second…The 104^th?” He could barely choke out the words. Process of elimination made it very obvious to whom Erwin was referring to.

“The name of the girl we believe to be the person of interest is-”

“Oi, wait…”

“Annie Leonhardt.”

“Annie’s the Female Titan?” he asked dubiously and shook his head. “Why? Why would you think that Armin?”

“From the start, the Female Titan knew what you looked like. And she reacted to your nickname ‘suicidal bastard’, which only the 104^th trainees would know. And the biggest reason is that I believe Annie killed the test subjects, Sawney and Bean.”

“How can you tell?” Eren demanded.

“Only someone very skilled could have done it. And they’d have to use their own Maneuver Gear, which they’re accustomed to.”

“Yeah, wasn’t that why they inspected our Maneuver Gear? But they didn’t find anything on Annie…”

“Annie brought Marco’s Maneuver Gear to the inspection. That’s why she managed to avoid getting caught.”

“Huh? What are you talking about? What does Marco have to do with this?”

“I don’t know.”

Though he already overheard the idea thrown about during their conversation prior, Jean was becoming more and more suspicious of the possibility that Annie was involved in Marco’s death.

“Are you sure it was his?” Eren was starting to lose his temper.

“Yes, I know what I-” 

“Oi, kid,” Levi interrupted. “We get it. Do you have any other evidence?”

“No, I don’t.”

“I think Annie’s face resembles the Female Titan’s,” Mikasa added.

“Huh?” Eren jumped to his feet. “What are you talking about? That isn’t evidence-!”

“So you have no proof but you’ll do it anyway,” Levi said casually. This’ll be quite the learning experience for a certain General to my left…

“You have no proof? What? Then why do it? What if it isn’t her?”

“Then we’ll know she’s innocent. That’s all.”

“And then I’ll feel bad for Annie.” Armin slouched his shoulders and shrank back. “However, if we don’t do something, you’ll end up being sacrificed to the people at the capitol!” he reminded.

“You’re crazy to think Annie’s a Titan.”

“Eren, now that you know we suspect her, isn’t it ringing any bells? You fought the Female Titan. Didn’t anything remind you of Annie’s distinctive combat style?”

He did his best to push the memory of the fight aside but the high kick delivered by the Female Titan was not only reminiscent of Annie’s style, it was also the moment right before his capture.

“Mikasa, there are two things I would like to point out to you. First, the Female Titan may bear a resemblance to the person of interest. But we have absolutely no way of knowing whether or not that can be used as a determining factor.” Saskia nodded to Eren. “Take a good look at him. His bone structure, his eye color, everything. Does it from differentiate from his Titan form? Yes, yes it does. Second, if we lack the evidence to prove Annie Leonhardt is at fault then we also lack the evidence to prove her innocence. I hope you are prepared for the consequences of either outcome. The Military Police has a stronger and more amicable relationship with the monarchy than we do. Should Nile Dawk so much as scoff at the idea we lose a large fraction of what little support and credibility we have left.” She flexed her fingers inward, scraping into the wood and gathering a nasty collection of blisters beneath her fingernails. “Above all Eren is not the only one being summoned to the capitol. Three others present in this room are, and the three most powerful in the Survey Corps at that. If anything were to happen to us the Survey Corps would fall apart. What source of protection does Eren have then? That is not only a reference to politics. While I will not refuse to participate in this plan I take great issue with putting my life on the line when I have minor incentive to do so.”

“Eren’s safety isn’t incentive enough?!” She jumped to her feet.

“Of course it is! And I would be more than willing to challenge the monarchy if that’s what it took to protect him! I’m referring to the identification of the Female Titan. I repeat, if we can’t prove her guilt then we cannot prove her innocence. How can we justify taking such an extreme course of action if she is in fact innocent? It also reveals our intent to seek out those responsible for the fall of Maria, for any and every shifter within the walls. Do you honestly think the Female Titan would be working alone? If Annie is guilty we alert the enemy of both our presence and our capability in stopping her. It’s an indirect challenge but we will be prepared for retaliation. If Annie is innocent we alert the enemy of our presence and motive while still unaware of who they are, giving them the upper hand. What was the enemy after? Eren. If we cannot identify the enemy then we may damn well have to place him in solitary confinement here in the headquarters until we not only identify the enemy, the one who poses a threat to Eren’s safety which is clearly a high priority of yours, but eliminate them as well.” She took a deep breath. All save for Erwin and Levi looked slightly startled. She turned to Erwin. “If Annie is innocent, what is our contingency? Or will we continue the Survey Corps tradition of diving in headfirst, impromptu?”

“It was enough to allow us to take Eren into our custody,” he pointed out. She knows that Luzia lives in Stohess. Perhaps that is where this sudden outburst is stemming from.

“You better not be ranting and raving about that ‘risks and hope’ doctrine of yours. Weren’t you the one who said people can’t be faulted for what they don’t know? If this is all we have, it’s all we have.” If this is about Luzia, I’m punching that little brat in the face.

“With all due respect Lance Corporal, Commander, the General does bring up some valid points,” Armin said quietly.

“Tch. If you’re gonna defend her outburst then speak the hell up.”

“Yes, of course. Earlier I referred to Marco’s gear. Again, I don’t know why it’s significant but I do know if was his as I recognized some of the damage to it. He and I worked together to try and fix it. While preparing for the expedition I helped with repairing 3DMG because of my experience helping Marco. I like to think that if I can assist in repair work for an expedition, my experience is substantial enough. I accurately identified the gear not only as damaged but Marco’s specifically because of the particular damage it took. What reason would Annie have to use his gear, or anyone else’s gear for that matter, if she had something to hide?”

“She did it. It’s her. It was Annie.” Jean gritted his teeth. “No one saw how he died…And when I found him he didn’t have his gear. She killed him and took it. Or injured him, took it, and a Titan got to him. I don’t know but it doesn’t matter. Annie did it. I’m convinced that bitch did it. Is that enough for you?!”

“…it’s more than before, particularly recognizing the repair work on gear belonging to someone who was found both without and no known cause of death. It also would have been easier to take it from someone she knew, someone who would not suspect her of having the intention to harm or kill them. But all that proves is Annie was in possession of his gear. I’m not suggesting we find hers. That would take up far more time than we have to spare, assuming we have any at all.”

“The Female Titan smiled at me when she lifted my hood. She knew who I was.”

“She could have learned Eren’s nickname through word of mouth. But it’s unlikely she would have recognized you unless she knew you personally.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Levi glanced up at Saskia. “Teenage hormones count as evidence?”

“Did I suggest anything along those lines?” she asked rhetorically. “Just the recognition.”

“Furthermore, I think that deep down Annie is a good person. She could’ve killed me, Jean, and Reiner. She even grabbed Reiner and tried to crush him but he broke free from her grip. It almost looked as though she let him go. She couldn’t bring herself to do it.”

“Tch. She had no issue killing my squad.” 

“I think that’s the point Armin’s making. The Female Titan spared members of the 104^th but took no issue with killing those with whom she had no affiliation. Jean, you were present. Did you get the impression that the Female Titan let Reiner go?”

“I was standing on the other side so I didn’t see him break free but…now that you mention it, yeah, her fingers seemed to uncurl right before he got out.”

“I have one more question, in regards to the plan itself. I was summoned to the capitol same as you but…would my abilities not be best utilized if I were to follow Eren? Levi can’t fight and your presence is absolutely mandatory.”

“You want to be present in the event that a skirmish breaks out.”

“I do, Erwin. Is that permissible?”

Wall Sina, Pine’s Manor, July 12^th, 8:29 PM

“Feeling better Annie?” Kseniya dipped a small rag in a bowl of water, wrung it out, and folded it up. She tried to place it on the bed-ridden shifter’s forehead but Annie weakly slapped her hand away.

“Stop acting like you care,” she growled hoarsely.

The brunette sighed and placed the wet rag on Annie’s forehead, smoothing it out. Cool water trickled down her temples. “I do. And though our circumstances for becoming involved with these four are very different, the greatest difference between us is that I follow orders. That’s why you suffer.”

“What’s my offense this time?”

“Oh none, none at all. Merely referring to your history of screwing up. Funny how the one time we hoped you would fail is the time you put the most effort into trying to accomplish the objective given to you.” She propped her elbows on her knees and rested her chin on her folded fists. “We really are lucky, you know. I was just another orphan in the underground until the captain found me. Found my last name interesting and my language skills useful. And you and the other two, Reiner and Bertholdt, would still be veeeeeeery sick if Dr. Jaeger hadn’t given you the injection.  If only Dr. Jaeger hadn’t made that screw up with the injections…We’ve really got our work cut out for us, you know. After his ‘morals’ got in the way of his loyalty and Marco had to be put down, we had to put all our focus on Eren and Historia.”

“What about Mikasa and Saskia?”

“Can’t say,” she shrugged. “Maki-san handles the Oriental business. Pun not intended. I’ll never forget the look on that Survey Corps kid’s face when I kicked him out for requesting those records…They’ll have to try harder than that!”

“And Levi?”

“Not sure what Kenny wants with him. Probably to put him in a time out. I still think it’s hilarious that he was supposed to infiltrate the Survey Corps thanks to one of Kenny’s many underlings. But not only does God damned angel recruit him, she’s his girlfriend!” She carelessly twirled a strand of her dark brown hair. “We had to change up Erwin’s objective since he knew who Levi was and, more importantly, knew Captain Ackermann. Erwin knew too much…just like his father. But unlike his boring old daddy dearest history teacher, he was useful. He was willing.”

She’s insane. Everyone is just another plaything for her. “What’s so special about Orientals?”

Kseniya put a finger to her lips. “Privileged information. You’ll find out soon enough, trust me. Figure of speech, I would never expect you to trust me. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to confirm whether or not the little traitor is still alive. You rest up, alright? Eren and the Survey Corps have already been summoned to the capitol. You have two days until they’re going to execute their plan.”

Annie made a shooing motion towards the door and the brunette rolled her eyes as she rose. “Try not to miss me, maggot,” she taunted as she left the weak shifter to rest. After being defeated by Levi, Annie had been trapped in her Titan form in the Forest of Giant Trees believing she was left for dead. Much to her surprise a rescue operation led by Kseniya of all people was already in place. She didn’t even know that Kseniya had experience fighting Titans that she was able to go outside the walls. Then again, Annie hardly knew anything about her aside from her heritage and that Kenny took her in after finding her in the underground. And that she detested her.

“Krista is actually the illegitimate child of Rod Reiss…Marco was a shifter whose ‘morals’ ended up being his downfall…Eren was accidentally given the coordinate injection…Mikasa is related to Kenny…” She let out of soft groan of pain. “Thinking about all of this is giving me a headache…But why tear down the walls?” She sighed. “Doesn’t matter…All that matters is being able to go home.” She bit her lip. “I just want to go home.”

Out in the hallway Kseniya took a deep breath. The manor she called home doubled as their base of operations, but they had countless spies and assassins stationed throughout smaller bases in both Rose and Sina. The manor belonged to Isamu and provided plenty of space for storing weaponry, rooms for Grisha to use for studying and research, and Kseniya’s favorite- the interrogation room. She giggled with girlish glee at the thought of all the different ways she could ‘convince’ Marco to join them again and ‘punish’ him for leaving in the first place. Assassinations were Kenny’s area of jurisdiction so if the boy was found alive and unwilling to cooperate, he would be the one to deliver a fatal blow.

She folded her arms behind her head and wandered aimlessly down the hall to a large spiral staircase, talking quietly to herself. “I wonder what they would’ve done if Messmann remembered Annie’s scream? Eh, doesn’t matter now. Erwin must’ve been pleasantly surprised to see just what our little Annie is capable of, turning her Titan skin to crystal like that. He did a good job orchestrating everyone’s positions so Annie would fail and the Survey Corps would take such a huge hit. The showdown in Stohess will be so fun!” When she reached the bottom Kenny was waiting at the bottom, a military police uniform folded in his arms.

“Good evening Captain Ackermann.”

“Volkova, I’ll make this quick. Erwin’s plan won’t go into effect until two days from now. But in between now and then we have no idea what might be going on in Stohess. Once Annie returns to her station there…She’s almost as much a flight risk as that kid she failed to kill. Two damn days? We can’t wait that long and our spies in Stohess have all said the same thing- Luzia has been more ‘social’ ever since Eren’s trial. Luzia might try to find her mutt. And since the girl already knows about her mother there’s nothing stopping her from going to Stohess between now and then, not even our guards. Messmann blood will be spilled in Stohess but we can’t wait two days. Forget the shifter kid. Go to Stohess, find Luzia, and ‘remind’ her that she and Keith made a deal.”

“You say Messmann blood will be spilled, Captain. And while Saskia is very valuable Luzia is too.”

“For now. Don’t kill her. Just gently ‘remind’ her that…her visitation privileges were revoked when she gave Saskia to us. Might not have been the original plan to get our hands on her, but it all worked out in the end.”

“Of course it did, considering who all is at the helm of this. Know what I find funny? If the original plan hadn’t fallen apart and the Central Military Police raised little Miss Messmann, she would’ve spent a lot of time around you. And lover boy. It’s almost like they were destined to meet!” she said dramatically, pretending to swoon as she batted her eyelashes. “It’s so precious.”

“If by precious you mean revolting and annoying, I agree. But if she really is as tough as they say I’ll give him credit for having decent taste in women. Now get moving. You’re posing as a member of the Military Police. Don’t forget that headband. At first glance the others will recognize you but it’s dark out. Last thing we need is you being gunned down because someone thinks you’re invading our territory.”

She nodded and took the uniform from him. “Yes sir. And what of Katya’s research, if I may ask?”

“Still nothing. When we know, you’ll know.”

“Yes sir.”

Old Survey Corps Headquarters, First Year Cadet Female Dorms, July 13^th, 3:29 AM

“Ymir, Ymir wake up.” A gentle voice and an even gentler shake of her shoulders snapped her out of her nightmare. She did her best to maintain her composure the beads of sweat running down her face made that almost impossible. She blinked rapidly, eyes adjusting to the low lighting in the room. Krista was standing over her looking worried.

“The hell Krista? Why are you waking me up?” she groaned, slowly lifting her head.

“Because you woke the rest of us up,” Mikasa’s cool but clearly agitated voice replied from the other side of the room.

She sat up slowly and rubbed her eyes, surprised to find moisture had collected. I was…crying? Shit. “My bad, but don’t worry about it. I’m fine.”

“I doubt that,” Sasha piped up. “You were talking pretty loudly in your sleep. It woke up Krista and she woke up the rest of us. You were rambling about the craziest things! A big war, an invasion, lots of snow, something called a ‘Soviet’…The rest was all mummbly and jumbly.”

Krista sat down beside her and took one of her sweaty hands in between her own. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Tch. No.” The taller girl pulled her hand away and flopped back down onto the bed. “Everyone just shut up and go back to sleep. If it happens again don’t wake me up.” I need to see these things to better understand them.

“Ymir, I was concerned-”

“Well don’t be. Go get some sleep Krista. We’re gonna need it.”

After the commotion settled down everyone fell back asleep except Ymir. I was outside of the walls for sixty years before changing back into a human form…But these things I’m seeing never happened then. And there are no Titans either…except myself. What am I seeing?! Was I outside the walls for more than sixty years?! She tightly clutched her pillow. There’s no way in hell I could have existed more than one hundred years ago before the Titans first appeared…That’s impossible. She shook the thoughts away. It’s just a stupid nightmare. Doesn’t mean anything. ‘Operation Barbarossa’. What kind of name is that? Just a figment of my imagination…Just a stupid nightmare…

Far from the headquarters in a dense forest, a Titan completely covered in fur with long arms that almost dragged along the ground smiled.

“The little one is waking up.”