Twisting the Knife Chp 15: The Birth of Disruption

June 2^nd, Early Morning, Further Into Titan Territory

Deeper and deeper the battalion ventured into Titan territory; the further away they were from the compound they had called home for the evening the more dangerous the journey became. Though impossible to predict roughly how many Titans were nearby any encounter warranting a retreat always had a higher casualty rate, the bane of Saskia’s existence.

Erwin had managed to convince the Commander that Hanji should join his squad for this expedition as her keen eye and observational skills, though unlike Saskia’s ability to intuit Titan presence, would likely be able to pick up new information about the monsters they would not find otherwise. Deliberation would continue later on as to whether or not she would transfer to his squad but Hanji, Erwin, and Saskia would need to fabricate a convincing reason for why that would pose some sort of detriment; she needed to remain in Flagan’s squad as their informant.

Though no explanation was given as to why the General was placed in the center column the Commander’s decision wasn’t questioned. He needed her near Levi in the event that he would attempt to advance and seek out Erwin. This did not go unnoticed by the three even though the formation hadn’t been implemented yet. She always began in the advance guard and moved elsewhere when ordered by the Commander, never beginning elsewhere. There was another reason which coincided with Shardis’ unreasonable expectations of the officer, his decision based on an old age adage of the pre-Titan world; it was rarely used in the conversations of the everyman due to being archaic and very few even knew of it. ‘Red sky at night, shepherd’s delight. Red sky at morning, sailors take warning’. They altered it slightly, ‘shepherd’ being replaced with ‘soldier’s’ and ‘sailors’ with ‘officers’. No mention was made of his secondary reasoning, not even to Erwin, as he needed the Squad Leader to focus on the advance guard and not concern himself with the potential for a storm. Saskia had to be aware for it was her responsibility to be sure that the remaining soldiers all returned alive. Being in the middle gave her a better view of all flanks and the flares they would fire. There was no guarantee that a storm would stir but it wasn’t a risk they could take.

I don’t know why storms don’t bother me outside the walls. I would wager to say that Shardis’ psychological abuse had something to do with it. He did enjoy locking me out of the headquarters during flashfloods to create blockades around all potential points where the small torrents could weave their way into and keep an on the supplies stored outside to ensure they weren’t damaged by the rain. God forbid any rainwater pool anywhere or…there would be consequences. Now that he is no longer in the Survey Corps I’m free to show my fear though you are the only one who sees it most, as you’re the only one who can comfort me until it passes. But even now outside the walls Saskia Messmann has to be shoved into a cage so the General can take charge. Back then it was probably fear of Shardis should I express ‘weakness’ but now it’s habit. I won’t allow myself to be hindered by a cloudburst or streaks of lightning. You’re right. They can’t touch me. Titans can, and so my focus is exclusive to the real threat. The only threat.

After a half-hour or so of riding the Commander gave Erwin the signal. He extended his right arm. “EXECUTE LONG DISTANCE SCOUTING FORMATION!” the squad leader commanded and the orderly column of horses began to disperse until occupying their respective flanks.

The flank farthest to the right spotted a Titan and shot off a red flare, more being shot off until they reached the advance guard where Erwin fired a green to redirect. Those at the front right and front left did the same and the officers behind them shot one by one, each flare moving farther and farther back until each flank had fired. The entire formation quickly veered to the left to avoid the Titan.

“Pretty impressive,” Levi muttered. “It’s a huge battalion but it’s moving as if everyone in it has become one.”

“Yep, I should known that Squad Leader Erwin’s no ordinary guy,” Farlan agreed, shielding his eyes. “Looks like he’s arranged it so there’s no chance of the rear guard running into any Titans before we reach the next supply point.”

Isabel quickly counted off on her fingers. “Up ‘til now we’ve changed course fourteen times. Guess there’s a lot more of ‘em than you’d think, huh?”

“So in other words, we’re all fucked if we stop moving. Is that what you’re saying?” the blond teased.

In the advance guard the Commander’s concerns had manifested into reality as thick, gray wisps began to gather overhead yielding the promise of a tremendous storm as they began to block out the sun.

“Erwin, do you see that?”

“Yes…Storm…clouds are gathering…”

Panic began to spread like a contagion throughout the whole of the battalion. Nature, though Saskia’s source of divine inspiration, was a fickle Goddess. A few light droplets fell, harmless enough should the weather continue on as such. But luck was rarely on the Survey Corps’ side and just as everyone began to breathe a sigh of relief, hoping or believing that the conditions wouldn’t worsen a torrential downpour plummeted to the earth below.

“Shit! It started raining!” Farlan shouted. “Damn it, I can’t see anything in front of me!” He shielded his tightly clenched eyes.

“HEY!” Flagan shouted over the low rumbling thunder. “DON’T BREAK FORMATION! STAY TOGETHER WITH-!”

Isabel was the closest to him but his words sounded like a tirade of gibberish. “I can’t hear anything you’re saying!” she cried.

“Isabel, Farlan, don’t get separated!”

The conditions were too harsh to keep advancing in an orderly fashion and, though extremely dangerous, Erwin proposed they break the formation. There was no chance that they would be able to maintain it anyway. He tried firing a flare but the rain made the smoke disperse. They had no contact with the other flanks. Horses began slipping and tumbling in the mud. Mother Nature was not only fickle, she decided to be cruel that morning and released a heavy fog before them. The rest of the soldiers couldn’t see the flares, and now everyone’s vision was inhibited altogether.

“Hey, what the hell are we gonna do?!”

“All we can do is keep moving,” Farlan replied in a shaky voice. “I’m sure we haven’t gotten too far from the rest of the squad. We just have to keep going forward blindly…and hope this fog will clear up fast.”

“But the way things are going now, the flares are gonna be useless no matter how much time passes!” Isabel pointed out.

“As long as Squad Leader Flagan’s noise rounds still work I bet we can find the others if we’re lucky enough. Ah, this isn’t looking too good guys. If Erwin gets eaten up by the Titans, there’s no way we can get our hands on those documents. The only way to steal them is to go for the center.”

“But that’s where General Saskia is!” Isabel reminded. “She’ll see!”

“In this fog? Doubt it! She might be strong and fast but she’s still human. Even she has her limits!”

Isabel sneered and then gasped loudly. “I heard a noise round! Is it from our squad?!”

“Looks like it’s not too far off. We can probably catch up with everyone but- Levi?” Farlan noticed his attention was elsewhere.

If all three of us go…the rest of the squad will be in serious trouble. But if I go alone…there’s no guarantee I’ll be able to find them again. I have to choose. The image of Isabel’s determined, excited salute from the night prior flashed through his mind.

I don’t know why I thought about it. I think deep down there was a part of me that hoped she would be able to channel you. I saw you in her, even if she was far more vocal about it. But the weather quickly reminded me of having my face shoved into the mud and looking up at Erwin after we were apprehended. Anger clouded my judgment. Pride clouded my judgment. Hatred clouded my judgment. I was selfish. In the end it really was about my wounded pride, just as Isabel said.

“I’m going alone. You two catch up to Flagan.”

“Hey…” Farlan wanted to argue but Levi was far too stubborn and domineering.

“I’ll get my hands on those documents. Besides, the one who’s going to kill that him and that little bitch is me. I won’t let a damn Titan get to them first.”

“But!”

“Big Bro! I’m gonna go with you, too!”

“Isabel. Think about it. Me alone, or Flagan and Sayram? Who do you think is more likely to become Titan food? As long as I can avoid Saskia and get to Erwin first she’ll be close enough to kill them as well. Don’t you trust her to protect you?”

I don’t think I’d ever said anything more passive-aggressive to her.

“With the four of you together and her nearby, your chances of survival are much higher.”

“Levi! Use your head! The fog will clear up if we just wait it out awhile!”

“And? You think the Titans are just gonna sit back and relax until it does?”

“It doesn’t matter, just listen to me!” Farlan barked. “We have no idea where the Titans might come from in a situation like this! It’s too dangerous to be out there on your own!”

“I don’t need to hear all this shit from you! I can do it alone! Just trust me!”

That trust was what dug their graves.

“Is that an order, Levi?” the blond snapped.

“An order…? What are you saying? I just…You guys are…I want to…”

The clueless and pathetic look on Levi’s face caused Farlan to burst out laughing. “Alright, then. I’ll trust you. Just don’t get yourself killed!”

“Ya better come back to us, Big Bro. No matter what!”

I did. I came back. But there was nothing to come back to.

Levi sped off towards the front of the formation, doing his best to try and stay away from the center where he last saw Saskia situated. Visibility is pretty much zero. I’ve got no choice but to keep going and rely on my intuition. As long as the formation is still intact, I can use the fourth column as a guide to advance toward the front left, and run straight into the center unit. Don’t you dare die until I get there.

He wasn’t able to hear much over the sounds of the thunder and heavy rainfall but a certain onyx-haired officer, the one who set off the noise round to trick the three into trying to move closer to Flagan’s squad until she caught sight of them, was following behind him.

As they moved forward, her presence still unnoticed, they passed a menagerie of limbs and bodies chewed in half. Saskia was quick to notice that the Titan footprints led backwards. She began questioning the Commander’s order again until she saw Levi was hesitant as well, having made the observation himself. If he turned around he might notice her but it didn’t matter if he did. They both had the same targets in mind- the Titans and Squad Flagan.

“The others…Shit! SHIT! I’ve gotta hurry!” He quickly turned around and bolted back in the direction from which he came. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a human on horseback, no doubt the last person he wanted to encounter but her presence didn’t stop him. She continued to follow him, this time catching up so they were side by side.

“Do not ask questions, just focus on returning to the squad!” she ordered.

“Were you following me?! How did you navigate through the fog?!”

“I TOLD YOU NOT TO ASK QUESTIONS! NOW FOCUS!” Isabel, please be okay…

“Shouldn’t you be watching over the entire army like the guardian angel you like to think you are?!”

Saskia’s face went red with rage, highly visible despite the dense fog. She wanted to protect everyone and knew there would be dire consequences should the casualty rate exceed thirty percent but for the first time she not only wanted to defy the Commander for her own ‘selfish’ reasons, she placed hope in the rest of the army to fight the Titans without her aid so she could assist a select few. “Maybe…But if I do not trust the rest of the army to fend for themselves then what example do I set?! I do not want to be the Commander’s puppet any longer! Fighting for some is still fighting for all! This goes against everything I was raised and trained to believe, to do, but to hell with his orders!”

It had never occurred to me before that in fighting to protect everyone I got in the way of their ability to fight and focus. In a sense, Shardis was no better than Flagan.

“Puppet?”

“I TOLD YOU NOT TO ASK!” she screamed. “FOCUS LEVI! WE NEED TO GET TO YOUR SQUAD IMMEDIATELY! IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO ISABEL THEN SO HELP ME…THE THINGS I WILL DO TO FLAGAN IN ALL HIS INABILITY TO PROTECT HIS SQUAD WILL MAKE HIM WISH THE TITANS HAD GOTTEN TO HIM BEFORE I!”

You said it. I’m holding you to it, even if you’re being stubborn as all hell. Six damn years since you told me that and it wasn’t until tonight that I realized my approach was wrong. Scolding you accomplished nothing. Telling you that there was nothing wrong with not being the ‘perfect soldier’ Shardis convinced you that you were born to be, that you’re more than enough as you are, seemed to register. But I know you want to change. It would take me quite some time to trust you but, just as you did me, for the hours to follow I trusted you as a fellow soldier. Common goal, common enemy.

“Why put it all on Fl-?”

“I TOLD YOU NOT TO ASK QUESTIONS!” Judging by the size of the footprints… Saskia began assessing the situation they were about to run into.

They won’t be able to handle all those Titans at once. Levi gulped and glanced at Saskia. I still don’t trust you. But at least I can trust you to kill them. I don’t know if I’ll need your help. But I won’t turn it down. Not this time. “We’re almost there.”

“Yes, I can see the enormous humanoid figures. Judging by their erratic movements Squad Flagan is fighting them. Prepare yourself, Levi. We may be en route to a mass slaughter.”

“Except for Isabel, right?”

“Of course not! She will be-!” Saskia stopped, eyes wide when they neared the Titan infested area.

They were greeted by the upper half of Sayram’s bloodied body tossed to the ground before them, his lifeless eyes challenging to her a staring contest. Further ahead Farlan was shouting to Isabel that they had to split up but he was cut off, whatever interrupting him being followed by a thumping sound. Something hit the ground, too heavy to be human but too light to be Titan. Levi and Saskia saw his profile tumble downwards into the mud; it was impossible for him to regain his footing. Isabel was screaming at him to hurry out of there.

Though they didn’t make the effort to coordinate both Levi and Saskia used their 3DMG to leap from their mounts and propel as far as the ropes would land, skidding into the mud but still landing on their feet. Saskia had her sights set on Isabel, who was trying to protect the fallen Farlan from a Titan looming over him by slicing through its hand. Levi was going after the other Titan before it could compete with the other for Isabel’s flesh.

She flew down to its back. She missed the nape. She hooked into its shoulder. She lost her footing on its wet back. She dangled sideways from her gear. The fog was starting to clear now, just in time for Isabel to see the Titan moving in for the kill.

She tried to call out for Levi. She tried to call out for Saskia. But by the time she came to her senses and was able to make a sound she was sliced up by a pair of enormous teeth, blood spraying out from between the back of the Titan she dangled from and the clenched jaw of the one that crushed her small body. Both Titans fell to the ground from the impact of the latter ramming into the back of the other in its effort to devour her.

Levi, Saskia, and Farlan froze. The first two still weren’t close enough to go in safely for a kill with the ground reduced to rivers of mud and Farlan had been left to fend for himself. The Titan that claimed Isabel rose sluggishly, its face stained with crimson innocence. It reached out for him but the other quickly sat up, sending its competitor flying backwards. By the time Levi and Saskia were close enough to attempt killing the Titans, Farlan was already in its grasp.

Everyone is going to end up dead. The choice I made back then…was wrong. The guilt and disbelief were consuming him but a harsh kick in the back from the shorter woman brought him back to reality. It was her way to telling him to keep going while her sharp eyes would monitor the area and do all she could to keep him meeting the same fate at Isabel. Levi’s gear hooked into the Titan’s arm. Please let me make it in time, he begged to any and every higher power that may have heard him, should one exist. Saskia did her best to keep up on the ground below him.

He saw Levi coming to his rescue. He lifted one arm as if to offer a farewell. Levi managed to cut off the arm holding his friend but his timing was off by only a fraction of a second as Farlan had already been stuffed into the Titan’s mouth. One leg was hanging out, barely attached to whatever remained of his body by a few strands of muscle and tendon.

I should have defied the Commander altogether and gone after Flagan instead. I was closer to them than you were. Flagan is ultimately at fault, but I didn’t do all I could have to try and keep them safe. If I had pursued the real threat she would have been able to help take down Flagan. She could’ve been there to celebrate with us after he was found guilty. Isabel would still be here in the flesh, not only in spirit and memory.

Say what you will. Blame Flagan. Blame Titans. To a degree you blame yourself. But I was the one who left them behind. I told them that their safety, their lives were the only ones I was concerned about. The only ones I had an obligation to protect. I had a funny way of showing it, didn’t I?